Two Babies and Parental Learning

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Post#17

Two babies and Parental learning:

Amita had a battery operated, toy baby in those days that would cry if pressed on the tummy. When Abhay brought Aai and her to the hospital to see the new baby she climbed in to my bed and her first instinct was to press on his tummy 😂. She was a baby herself, not completely 2 years old, still on the bottle and in diapers. But she took to the baby immediately. It was always my concern and priority that she should continue to get the same attention as before,even after the baby arrived.

The post partum ritual was same as the first time. Aai fed me nutritious food, gave me oil massage daily and bathed the new baby.

This time Aai was surprised when I remained calm at home even after 7 days. Aren’t you going to the temple ? I said I’m going to leave after 21 days. What is the reason for your change of mind ?she asked. I told her I’m going to listen to you this time. I guess I was 2 years older and respecting her wishes ,to the extent I could ,mattered much more to me now. 

I also agreed not to pierce Advait’s ears if she didn’t want us to, although Hindu custom dictates boys too get the ears pierced. It would make her happy and wouldn’t matter much for a boy I thought. 

It was 6 weeks after Advait’s birth. January 17th 1994 was a Monday. We were still in bed at 4:30 am when suddenly the building started to shake. It kept getting stronger and stronger. Aai was quick to realize what’s going on. She scooped out the baby from his crib and ran out of the building. We picked Amita and followed her onto the street. Everyone from every building, every apartment had come on the road. It was a few minutes of terror before everything came to a standstill and we were able to return to our apartment. That was the famous Northridge earthquake of 1994 . It is permanently carved into my memory. One of our close friends was 9 months pregnant and the jolt threw her out of bed on to the floor. Luckily she and her baby were not hurt. A lot of damage was done in the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles. Power was cut for many days. Roads were closed due to the damage. Bridges had collapsed. Older buildings were uninhabitable. 

 Later once life was a bit normalized we took Amita to Disneyland. Advait was a few months old. We got our tickets and stopped to get strollers, one for each kid. Abhay placed Amita in her stroller as I held Advait in my arms. Then as I lowered Advait into his stroller Abhay started to help me. The moment we had strapped him in we turned to proceed with both strollers. And we got a shock! Amita was not in her stroller 😳. I held on to Advait and Abhay looked frantically all around . The park entry-exit gate was right there.  Worse thoughts ran through our minds . Was she kidnapped ?  Abhay ran to those gate employees to inform them our girl is missing. They shut down the exits and instructed him to walk to the place where they have staff addressing missing kids/ lost and found items etc. Just as he was running that way he saw Amita walking in his direction with a park employee holding her hand. She had coolly walked out of her stroller and was wandering lost when some park guest had brought it to the notice of employees . She couldn’t have given her address or last name. She was speaking mostly in Marathi by that time and hardly knew many English words. When he asked her where is your mom she uttered two words “Mommy stroller” 😅. Taking that cue the employee was walking her towards the stroller station to find her mommy. In Marathi the phrase is “ tondacha paani palaala hota “. That’s how scary it was for Abhay and me.  We were lucky this girl could speak those critical words and met the right person. And we found her. 

My saree today is a simple cotton in lime yellow with Lucknowi Chikan embroidery in rust color on it. No old pictures in this saree.