New Home New Realities

 #USA

Post#25

New City, New home,New Realities:

Sometime in June was our residency class graduation. It was at the Queen Mary ship in Long Beach, California. All of the Indian and Pakistani girls in my class wore Desi attires for the evening. Everyone was excited, breathing fresh air of relaxation , smiling broadly and seemingly forgetful of the harsh labor of the past 3 years. This would be the last time we would see most of the class together before everyone scattered in different corners of the world. A few friends remained in touch thereafter.

As promised by our builder, by July 4th 1997  the home was ready for possession. He let us move in the day before as the movers were to deliver all the furniture from the LA apartment . Signatures were completed on the morning of July 4th. Metaphorically and literally there were fireworks when we moved in 😀. The kids until then were used to living in 600 sq foot space. Suddenly they were in a big home and getting lost going from one room to another. The little minds were scared to be left by themselves and would follow us wherever we went. 

July 4th is traditionally celebrated with barbecues. With the desire to acquaint ourselves with the neighbors next door and as a gesture of goodwill we went over to invite them over for a barbecue in the evening. Little did I expect the response. They flatly refused to come. I politely asked are you going out? No, we are here. We just don’t want to come. To this day they have never come to our home. But they had no qualms about bringing their mom’s cancer report to seek free advice from Abhay within a few days of us moving in😀.

Another neighbor whose house was behind ours was so much nicer. One day she rang the door bell and brought fresh home baked cookies as a welcome treat for us. She invited me to her home soon thereafter for a women’s kitty party. Often she would chat with me across our backyard fence. Unfortunately her husband was transferred to Oklahoma soon and they moved ,so didn’t see much of her.

It was less than a month we had moved into the home. A Saturday morning  I opened the front door and the sight frightened me. There were multiple rolls of tissue paper unrolled and thrown across the entire front yard of our home. With the recent cold shoulder from the neighbor we feared if we were racially targeted .We called Sheelatai and she started laughing. It is a common prank by teenagers everywhere she told us. That put our hearts at rest. Anyone who’s had this prank on their homes would know what a pain it is to get the wet toilet paper off the plants and lawn. Yet it was a relief that it wasn’t a hate crime.

  I was home with the kids through summer, studying for my boards. A swimming instructor would come give them swimming lessons in the evening. I took a couple of lessons as well and for the first time learnt to swim. Just before my 32nd birthday. 

School started in August. My little girl was starting kindergarten. Until then I had taught both of them at home, both English and Marathi alphabets. Advait was just 3.5 and he could already write his jodaakshar name in Marathi. 

When Amita started Kindergarten we started sending him for a few hours to a playschool to get him used to staying there while we were at work. 

I deliberately spoke only Marathi at home because I knew once they go to school they are going to learn English. Might as well get them to learn Marathi now.

Once these two started school they started teaching me how I pronounce English alphabets and words wrongly 😂. 

Amita was always a sweet, prim and proper girl. Never got into trouble in her class. Invariably she was the teacher’s pet in every grade she went. 

Advait …..errrr…he was a boy 😜. In September we took the kids to a local annual rose festival in the neighboring town of Wasco. He got out of the car and ran to a fenced display where a farmer was showing off his handsome horse. My young man had barely learnt to speak. He went up there and told the farmer “Nice cow ! “. He very well knew the difference between a horse and a cow. But sarcasm was something he was born with 😂. The farmer’s ego was deflated in a flash by a 3 year old 😀

That same month I took my American Board of Internal Medicine exam and became a certified Diplomat in Internal Medicine. 

Amita still feels I should have pursued a fellowship. Abhay told me this week too “ you could have done fellowship. You just immersed yourself into taking care of the kids “. I never regretted my decision. That degree was good enough for my individuality and my independence. The certificate was really for my employer and for my patients. I never cared to frame it or put it on the wall in my office or home ever !

Mid October 1997 I started my job. Both kids were so young. I knew firsthand that they needed their mother more than the household needed my income. I asked for an 80% schedule with an early start time . I kept everyone’s lunch boxes ready and left home early. Abhay dropped them to school and I picked them up after school. When not in school they would always have at least one parent with them at anytime. If some day one of the kids was sick I would take them to my office, put a blanket next to my chair , give them a paper and some crayons and they would stay under my watch. 

Much later when they were grown they confided their dirty secret with me . The homemade poli bhaaji in their lunch box was something they felt embarrassed to show their friends. So they would dump it in the trash 🤦🏻‍♀️🥺

Paithanis were re-introduced in a big way in those days( late 90s , early millennium).  On my visit to India in 1997 for my brother’s wedding I had bought my very first Paithani. It was a purple one with pink borders and traditional pallu, narali ( coconut) borders. This is the saree for this post. I have draped it multiple times here, for baby showers and get togethers with friends hosted at our home.