The Ugly Side

 #USA

Post#26 A

 A very very long read alert! One chai may not be enough 😉

Race & Gender Inequality and Abuse of Power  : A Part of Life

The Bad People

A few months after we moved into our home another colleague of ours, a pediatrician from India and his wife decided to build their home right across from ours. They signed the contract with the same builder as ours. The home was ready in a few months. They chose an ochre shade of yellow on the house. 

My white neighbor who had refused to come for the barbecue to our home was agitated about the color. Every time he spotted me outside in the front yard he would walk over to talk “ what do you think of the color of that home ? Don’t you agree it is ugly? It breaks the code of colors in the neighborhood. Our property values will be affected badly “. He went on and on. I tried to tell him that although it wouldn’t be my choice of color for a house , the owners had chosen it after consultation with the builder who is aware of city codes and it was never a problem with the city. Besides it is their home, their choice. We should not bother. 

 He would not agree. Instead he went on to rally like minded neighbors and put pressure on my poor colleague to change the paint.

My colleague was worried and terrified. He told me already the home cost him so much beyond his anticipated budget. To change the paint would not  be a petty expense. As he said that I got an idea. I told him not to worry. I think I can fix the problem. 

 Next time the obnoxious neighbor came to ask me about the matter, I said to him with a straight face “ I have some encouraging news for you. They are willing to change the color, provided anyone who wants a different color is willing to pay for it . That person will also get to choose the color.”

Since that day I never heard him complain. I am presuming he had a change of mind and overnight started liking the color 😜. More than  2 decades later the house is still yellow and no one’s property values went down. 😀

In a few months another home was constructed to one side of my colleague’s home and directly opposite my white neighbor. The owner was a black man named Randy.

We were brown and seemingly fortunate that the white neighbors even talked to us occasionally. 

With the black neighbor they pretended he did not exist.  They wouldn’t even wave a hand if they saw him across their homes working in the yard or moving the trash can.

 Randy was fond of vintage cars. He owned a couple and worked on them on his driveway and took them to participate in vintage car shows. When my dad lived with me he would happily take dad along for those shows. Baba shared the same love for cars so it was no surprise they got along famously. Baba would often cook Biryani and other things for Randy and he truly appreciated everything. He had a persimmon tree in his backyard and when it was harvest season he would keep bagfuls of the fruit at our front door. He knew my mom liked them. He was an early bird like me. When he saw me driving to work he would wave and ask if I got the fruit last evening. 

One of those days a water pipe on our front lawns  broke and water was pouring out on the street. Abhay had no clue how to stop the running water until our gardener came to fix the broken pipe. Randy was working on his car. He saw the water running and Abhay struggling  there. He came right away and showed him where the main water line could be turned off. 

I realized at that point that if our home ever caught on fire this would be the man who would run to put it off and pull us out safely. 

Sadly recently (2 years back) he sold his home and moved to another city. When he was leaving he told me ,our Indian neighbors and we were the only people who would interact with him. He told my parents to stay healthy and promised he would keep in touch.

As our fruit trees were maturing we started getting a good crop. Our pomegranate tree was adjoining our wall with the obnoxious neighbor. I told them feel free to take the fruit that overhangs on your side. Oh no, they said, we don’t like and we don’t eat pomegranate. The next thing I see is they have a pomegranate tree in their yard 😂. 

As the kids were growing they too faced this prejudice. People wouldn’t let their kids play with ours. Advait had only one boy in the neighborhood who became his friend. His parents had traveled and lived in Thailand for a few years and had a more open mind to people from other cultures.

I remember an incident when another mom came one afternoon knocking on our door, irate. When I opened the door she started yelling at me , complaining that Advait was chasing her son at school. She kept agonizing over how her son is younger than my boy and is intimidated. My son was 7, hers was 6. I apologized and assured her that I would tell Advait not to bother her son again. And Advait never did. He played with his only friend in the neighborhood.

So many other incidents of racist discrimination the kids did not even share with me until they were grown up into adults. I asked them if I failed them. They said no, those people didn’t matter to us . Only you guys( parents )mattered. My heart nevertheless felt an ache that they did not let their sad experiences reach my ears so as to not get me worried. 

My career was just beginning in 1997 and I was getting a taste of racism on the job. True I had a foreign accent but my English wasn’t so difficult to understand. I had patients say to my face “ I don’t understand a word of what you say” “ Give me a real white American doctor “. “ Don’t they hire American doctors here anymore?” “ I want another internist”. I took it in my stride. The menu options were quite interesting if they wanted to change to another internist because my workplace was very inclusive . If my Indian accent was not palatable they could choose from a Bulgarian, Burmese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Phillipino or Egyptian accent. 😀 And trust me, if they were to be honest, my accent was much easier for a western person to understand than the others. 🤐

As if race bias wasn’t enough there was also gender bias. A female doctor was and still is often considered a nurse or worse. She has to prove herself at every step. And stand up to claim her equal status.

When i joined my job in 1997 there used to be a senior colleague there, a very tall heavy white man. For some reason he just hated me and made no bones about it . In our monthly physician partner meetings he would waste no opportunity to insult me. I would remain silent each time.

 A few years after I became a partner in the group, at one such meeting, they were evaluating a newly recruited physician whose husband was also in our group. He asked the department chief conducting the review that the husband be asked to step out of the room so people could give their honest feedback about the wife. He could have stopped at that. Instead he went on a tirade giving my example how I was made a partner simply because of Abhay’s good standing. Abhay remained silent though obviously embarrassed and uncomfortable.That day I lost the lid off my head. While I have never doubted nor disputed the fact that Abhay is a better physician and human being out of the two of us, I certainly didn’t get my medical school admission or job because of him. Enough was enough. I stood up and told the accusing doctor and the rest of the group that we Risbuds are not a “ buy one get one free” deal !! I went to medical school and took my exams on my own . Abhay didn’t pass the exams for me. Nor do I pick up the phone and ask him what to do for each patient who comes to my office. I am standing on my own capabilities. 

It was so awfully hurtful and insulting, I was shaking with anger that day.  All my other colleagues as well as the Medical Director stood by me in understanding and in sentiment but didn’t say a word at the meeting. In the modern day the way of harming Draupadi’s modesty has changed, the silence of good men remains the same. 

Some came by my office later to say they felt sorry about the incident but confessed that this obnoxious Dr was not going to change. My chief of department of internal medicine who had hired me in the first place came to my office and comforted me reassuring me that he did not hire me because of Abhay. That day for the first time he divulged to me that Dr Rahimtullah had written such a strong letter of recommendation for me that even the best institution in any place would not want to lose me( his words).The Medical Center Director also came by my office. He suggested I have a one on one talk with the hostile colleague so he understands me. I was too proud to do that and not at all comfortable. I refused that suggestion. I didn’t care for a truce with a bully. A few years went by. The colleague retired before the electronic medical records were introduced in January 2006 because he was intimidated by the prospect of learning something new ! One would have thought after that there would be peace on Earth 😀

Alas ! His going did not bring better days for me. January 2006  the good medical director in Bakersfield stepped down and 12 years of an unforeseen horror regime began. Ironically this time it was a woman director. She had zero leadership experience and was so insecure and hungry for power that she could give Kim Jong-Un a complex. As soon as she became director she dismissed most of the existing chiefs of service , appointed people she knew she could control and started setting expectations from frontline physicians that were impossible to meet. It was a whip for results mentality, an ‘intimidate and rule’ regime. Showing her bosses in Los Angeles how Bakersfield is a high performing area would bring her accolades at the cost of frontline physicians.

One day she sent the newly replaced Chief of my department and one of her new assistant directors to my office with a letter of agreement for me to sign. I was supposed to improve the papsmear rate on my patients by 4% within 3 months or take a 25% pay cut if that goal was not met .

I told these two messengers, gentlemen, not all panels are equal. We women physicians have nearly 90% women in our panels against 20-25% women in your panels . 4% of my pap smear eligible panel is easily 60-80 times the 4% equivalent in your panels. 

Besides the volume discrepancy, there were other systemic problems. A large number of  patients refused to come in for papsmears despite multiple calls. If they came for other reasons they flatly refused getting papsmears at that visit. A lot of them had wrong addresses or phone numbers listed in the records. So they couldn’t  be reached, and reminder letters sent to them were returned. Data in the system was inaccurate about previous hysterectomy or last papsmear thereby falsely magnifying the numbers.  I told the men, I want YOU to sign an agreement that these issues will be fixed in 3 months or YOU will take a 25% pay cut because YOU are the administrators who have the power and responsibility to change /correct these issues. I refuse to sign any agreement until you fix the issues. I am here to serve my patients and you are here to serve us physicians, not the other way round. 

They left my office without my signature on the paper and never returned.

Some of my gullible female colleagues had already innocently signed on this totally illegal agreement. The administration was sly enough to corner one physician at a time. They had not expected anyone to rebel openly. And when I turned it down the other signed agreements automatically became void. My colleagues can attest to this incident.

The same chief of service on another occasion asked for a closed door meeting with me to discuss a complaint he had received from a medical assistant. She had alleged that I used derogatory language towards her. He was taking notes as we spoke, simply to intimidate me.

 I asked him did she specify what I said that was derogatory and in what context? 

No.

 Did you try to investigate by talking to other staff who work with me and this assistant?

 No.

I said you and me are in this office. If I go out and say you made sexual advances towards me behind closed doors what would be your defense ?

Suddenly his pen dropped out of his hand . The hands were trembling and he stared at me.

I said relax ! Back in school they taught me the word

 I-N-T-E-G-R-I-T-Y. I simply gave you an example so you know how it feels when you corner someone with baseless allegations. You are the Chief of my department and should be the spokesman for the department. Next time someone makes any allegations against not just me but anyone in the department I expect you to first investigate thoroughly, get specifics and decide whether it holds any merit before you come talk to us.

Since that day the guy stayed out of my way.

His boss on the other hand tried everything in her position to kick me out of my job for rest of her tenure. But it wasn’t going to be easy unless I made a mistake at my job . And I was no fool. I was even more diligent than ever before. I told the same thing to my colleagues. Focus and do your job right and be afraid of no one. 

Harassment did not occur just from the bosses. It came from subordinates too. Besides the assistant who had made the false accusations, I had my own assistant, a white girl, single mom, and bipolar personality. She took up the position to work with me because she loved my hours( early start). But she hated me for whatever reason. My Burmese colleague next door to me had heard her say nasty things about me to patients when she was taking vitals on the patients in the hallways. Things like” This is a bad doctor. I wouldn’t want this doctor as my primary care”. I ignored all the warnings from my friend thinking to myself that she(the assistant)is a single mom , has her own challenges. Besides,I thought,ultimately how I behave with the patients will make the difference, not what she tells them. I realized later I was working against a pre-planted unfavorable opinion in the minds of new patients. It was an uphill battle for no good reason.

One day I was seeing a patient and needed liquid nitrogen to treat her skin lesion. The assistant was rooming the next patient. I stopped to tell her to get the liquid nitrogen for me. Even before I could say a word she put her hands on her hips and in an arrogant tone asked me “now what ? “. This in front of the patient ! 

This was it ! My patience was done. I called the physician lead for the building. Told her the incident. I declared I will not work with this assistant any longer. She said Madhavi, it is difficult to get rid of staff because they are protected by their union. May be we can have a meeting and set expectations for her.  I told her it takes less than 7 minutes for a patient to change to another doctor if they didn’t like one. And me despite being a physician can’t ask for a different assistant after 7 years of dealing with such rude behavior? 

That did it. The PIC ( physician in charge) did everything in her capacity and transferred the menace out of my life.

 In 2018 when the director tried running for her third term I got involved with politics. There was no way we were going to be treated as slaves anymore. Abhay was scared I am risking my job. I was not prepared for 6 more years of this kind of harassment. I mobilized the partnership, got a good physician colleague to run against her .She had actually tried to mute him and discouraged him from running for her position before I approached him. I told him if he is ready to run I would do everything to find him the support in the group. And I did. Once he threw in his hat people rallied in support automatically. We all got together and gave our feedback to the top boss in Los Angeles about how we feel about her. 

 We won the battle. Within 2 weeks she announced to the group she is withdrawing her bid for re-election. 

But she was not going to leave quietly. She instigated one of her chosen guys to run against our preferred candidate. The new man would simply mean a new face and same work culture of intimidation and suppression.So we had to work harder to get the right man to the office. And we did. 

He took office just before the pandemic and got his new team together and they are doing a fabulous job despite the unprecedented challenges of the pandemic.

And no I did not take up any position in the new administration. There is no ambition to rise to even the least position of power. I always tell Abhay,I am the brick at the bottom of the wall. If the wall collapses the top ones will fall down . I have seen the wrong people rise to power and fall sooner or later in my 24 years here. The last brick has nowhere to go. It stays on the ground.

I need to emphasize before moving on with the topic that my company is not what it appears from the above story. The tenure of this one director was an absolute aberration. Her style and her tactics are not at all what Kaiser Permanente is all about or represents. 

 A few weeks back I saw a new colleague in the hallway , a Mexican origin young graduate from residency. She had bold letters embroidered on her white coat  saying “ D O C T O R “ . We both exchanged knowing smiles. Just our white coats and badges are not enough to say who we are ! 😀

I have seen racism being abused as well as used as a weapon.

The doctor who was Abhay’s first employer in Los Angeles was a black man. His deceit followed us years after we moved out of LA. He had not paid for the malpractice insurance for Abhay that he was supposed to during Abhay’s tenure with him. The insurance company traced Abhay to Bakersfield and left him with no choice but to pay the outstanding dues that were in excess of $15k. Abhay’s ex-employer in the mean time had found himself a cosy job at the Food And Drug Administration !! Probably a convenient place to advance his corruption! 

When Amita was in middle school she attended a summer program in Santa Cruz California. It was hosted by Johns Hopkins University. The program was quite expensive for just any family to afford. The university would solicit donations for kids from minority poor families to attend this program for free. We had donated towards this initiative. When I dropped Amita to the campus in Santa Cruz her assigned room mate,a black girl, had flown in from Washington DC with 2 full suitcases just filled with designer shoes and 2 more for her designer clothes for the 4 weeks stay.( I am not exaggerating).She had been exempted tuition due to her “ financial difficulties “!! 

About 3 years back we got a tenant in our rental property. The management company did a very superficial background check and brought us this family of a black American pastor. For the first few months the guy paid rent on time. Then he started throwing all sorts of tantrums. Your shrubs are too tall one week, too short the next week ,the sprinklers need overhauling, the oven is broken, the microwave is  not working. Every time I promptly sent the gardener or handyman to fix the problem. 

Next he started to complain that the gardener is not listening to him when he requests to mow the lawn a certain way or do something else. So now he wanted to fire our gardener and get his own. I said that’s not acceptable. My gardener has been with us for last 15 or more years, he is hard working and does a good job. If you are not happy you are free to leave, I will not hold you up for the year’s lease. He got so angry : are you trying to throw me out ? I will go on local TV and say this doctor in town is throwing out a black pastor from her rental home. Next he started texting me all sorts of rude messages that kept getting uglier and obscene. One such text read” I think you are having an affair with the gardener, give me your husband’s  number. I will let him see through this.”My family was furious . I was getting tired of these harassing texts. In between seeing patients these texts would keep pouring.

It was just 4 months into a year’s lease and he went to the city office and complained that there are loose wires from walkway lights that are posing a threat to his family. The city official came to inspect, told him these are solar lights and just 6V . They can’t cause electrocution. But during the same inspection the official cited us for several unrelated structural issues they wanted fixed by a certain date. And I was required to go in person to the city office to explain what I planned to do about these issues. Luckily when I went there I spotted a black man amongst their employees who was my patient for 20 years . He very well knew I’m not racist and I’m not someone to harass people. He straightened the city issues for me. 

After 6 months of harassment this tenant offered to vacate the premises provided we return his deposit. I said I would return the deposit if he left the place with no damages. He didn’t pay two month’s rent, left the elegant home in tatters and dirtier than a pigsty and had the audacity to keep nagging to get his deposit back.And the obscene texts continued even after he left. I was so tired I just was happy to see him leave.

 A week after he left ,as we were getting all damages repaired and the place cleaned , which by the way cost us $15k+ ,  a furniture rental company associate came to the home looking for the tenant. Turns out he had rented furniture for the entire house plus a washer dryer and refrigerator, hired a big movers’ truck and absconded with everything to Texas. To find a new unsuspecting landlord to dupe and harass!!

Look out for part B on racism coming up

Saree is a Bangalore silk in a beautiful shade of pink with kantha embroidery in white thread. Picked this pink to represent the millions of women across the globe who are a mystical blend of beauty, brains, compassion, strength, perseverance and love.