From Independence to Dependence : Existence to coexistence:

 #USA

Post#6

From Independence to Dependence :

Existence to coexistence:

Since I was not earning in those days there was no new saree shopping during the days in Chicago. Whatever I had was either from my wedding trousseau or what I had bought before I got married, from my intern and resident stipend.

 The stipend during residency wasn’t much. But it was more than enough for me. Caveat was “if used wisely”. Meals at the hostel didn’t cost much at the time. From my first salary I bought gifts for my parents and elders. Next I bought some textbooks and a few spiritual books like the Dasbodh and Dnyaneshwari. Yes, odd as it may seem, I was tuned to that literature much too early in life . 

And then of course you know what else 😀. I would have a gala time saree shopping after my payday. So much at times I would get carried away that for the last few days of the month I would be counting change (literally) and cutting corners for my meals until the next payday. My parents were totally aghast when they heard of my misadventures from my friends. But stubborn that I was I vehemently refused to take money from them for my meals. I had to subsist on my stipend whether I used it wisely or otherwise. That has remained my rule till present day.

 And that’s why those 3-4 years when I had quit residency in India and waited to start residency in the USA were the most painful for me. Not because I couldn’t shop sarees but because I was dependent on Abhay for everything. I simply hated being in that situation. And he couldn’t understand what’s the big deal about me using his money. 

He was never a controlling husband but occasionally some tantrums would arise out of nowhere. Just enough to reassure me that I had married an earthling 😉.

A few days into my stay in our apartment I got the craving for fish. ( My maternal family is Malvani,therefore half of me is unmistakably Malvani ).  I said to him let’s go find a fish market. His response was “this is a Brahmin’s home”. I looked at him and said “ do you think you can put up with me cooking fish until we can afford to rent two apartments ? “ 😉

Needless to say fish is cooked in my home until this day and what’s more, he eats it too . His mother told me “teach him to eat fish”. I took her orders as my command 😀

Another time we were planning to go out for dinner. He was ready before me. When I got ready and came out he was stunned to see me in a saree. “ Are you serious? You are coming out to  dinner like this ?”  I said “ Yes of course. I think it is a nice saree “. Don’t know what got him upset that day ( a very rare thing in the last 30 years), he just took off on his own. I quietly changed and found myself something to eat at home. Whenever I remind him of this incident he just shakes his head in disbelief over his tantrum.

Jeevanaa tu tasa mi asaa !! 

Today’s saree is yet another 30+ years old taant saree I bought from the same store on Ranade Road as the red saree. Probably both were bought at the same time . Characteristic of how I got carried away. Couldn’t decide between red or pink so kept both and skipped a few dinners till the next payday 😀

Sabko maaloom hain main sharaabi nahi

Phir bhi koi pilaaye toh main kyaa karoon 

Sirf ik baar nazaronse se saree miley 

Aur kasam toot jaaye toh main kyaa karoon 😉