Remembering Baba on his Birthday

This was originally posted on my Facebook page on June 12, 2021.

June 12, 2021

My father would have been 81 today! There is a tradition of celebrating 81st birthday with a Sahasra Chandra Darshan ceremony. Mathematically one has lived through 1000 full moons by his/ her 81st birthday! And this is the basis for the celebration of this milestone.

The metaphor of a “full moon”floods my mind with a thousand thoughts and memories and more!

One thing for sure, Baba lived a “full” life filled with unparalleled energy and enthusiasm.

His aura could pervade and highlight any gathering like a full moon in the night sky. 

His life however was not always a walk in the soothing comfort of moonlight! Growing up without a father from the age of 1.5 years was more like walking barefoot in a hot desert under a scorching sun. But that only helped to strengthen his will and grit to make the most out of life and to value independence and self effort.

I remember reading somewhere several years back: “What/who is larger than the sky? It is one’s Father.” 

The truth in this sentence had impressed my young mind then and churns my emotions today.

Incidentally my father’s birthday falls very close to Father’s Day each year. This year Father’s Day is going to be painful because I have never known existence without him until this year! And as I think of him on the eve of his birthday my mind walks me down memory lane reminding me of how this father created a moonlit path for his kids and protected them from the scorching sun at every step.

It was March 1983. I was taking my 12th standard final exams (Boards) that would determine my career path. I had put my energies all year towards the Physics-Chemistry-Biology curriculum in hopes of pursuing a medical career. Mathematics was not my forte after 10th grade. Calculus, Determinants, Statistics were like alien monsters for me. So here I was in the tail end of the exam fortnight, having breezed comfortably through the Physics-Chemistry-Biology parts as well as English and Marathi tests , now left with two more tests : Maths 1 and 2. Each carried 50 points and I needed a total of 35% to score a passing grade. But I was suddenly overcome by fright ! I felt certain that I would not know ANYTHING on these tests! I went into panic mode the night before. I started crying and declared that I would simply not go to the exam the next day and make a fool out of myself!

Baba quietly listened to my emotional outburst and then said these magic words that have since been carved into my gray matter. 

"If you go take the exam you have a 50% chance of failing ! If you don’t go, you have a 100% chance of failure."

So I ventured the next day to see which side the coin flips with my luck! That day I scored 40 points out of 50! Unbelievable! I had only needed 35 to get the passing grade! 

So why go the following day for the second part? 

But the words of wisdom from Baba were already carved out! How could I not go? I went again bravely to try my hand at a subject I thought I had no clue about. And I got 35 right out of 50 this time!

A couple of months later when my results were out I had a composite score of 97.5 in Physics-Chemistry-Biology and much to my own disbelief, a composite score of 90 in Physics-Chemistry-Mathematics which could have fetched me admission even for an engineering college! Of course I had no intention to fight any more alien monsters in my life! But the whole situation was simply hard to believe!  I had no faith in my capabilities but I had a father who believed in me! 

This is just one small incident I have shared today. But really the cinema of the entire life span is running in my mind right now. 

What would life have been without him? He held my hand and brought me up to this juncture. And he also instilled the strength to walk the remaining road ! It will be rather lonely in some ways but still rich with his memories and lessons.

Happy Birthday, Baba! I love you, Baba! You live in my heart! Though I wish you lived to celebrate the 1000th full moon and many more......