Beauty And Makeup

 

Beauty and Makeup:

Today a post from Anjali Chalisgaonkar about lipstick inspired me to share my thoughts around this topic.

What came to mind immediately after I read her post is an incident that goes back nearly 3 decades. My MIL had come for the delivery of my first baby. About 6 months later we were attending some function and I put on lipstick. My MIL that day made a rather snarky comment which was not typical of her. “ I don’t like women wearing lipstick! It makes them look like a parrot “ she said ! I remained quiet though I felt sad.

2 years later she was back for my second delivery. During this stay she conducted the thread ceremony of our nephews in San Diego. Lo and behold on that occasion she got tempted to wear lipstick 😃. I chuckled and reminded her of her parrot comment  ! She smiled back sheepishly realizing that I had not forgotten about it.

It was ok. Every woman, irrespective of age, ethnicity, marital status, education, employment, money, social status has the basic instinct of wanting to look pretty. And why not ?

I became aware of this instinct somewhere in my pre-teen years. My parents had a tenant who got engaged to a girl in Ludhiana at the time. We were invited for the wedding and I accompanied my parents to Punjab for that. The makeup on the bride and all women at that wedding filled me with wonder. I had never seen such glamour in women in my family or any woman in my small town Khopoli. I watched them intently and secretly wished to glam up myself like them.

When the newlyweds came home to live in our building I would watch the lady closely. She had these cosmetics spread out on her dresser which I found very exotic. That was probably the first time I saw a lipstick or foundation or an eyeliner. They felt more interesting than the seven wonders of the world. In my world, my mother was one who never used even a moisturizer or face powder on her face, leave alone more fancy things !! 

Don’t know how I got my hands on a tweezer in those days and started pulling out my eyebrow hair to give them a better shape. It didn’t take long for my mom to notice 😮. I got dressed down as if I had drawn graffiti on a National monument !! 

A few years later I left home to attend junior college in Mumbai. One day I picked up the courage to go to a beauty parlor and get a proper eyebrow job done !! I thought they would go back to my natural shape by the time mom visited ! Wrong again ! She showed up in two days and I had a lot to answer!  It was not until I had completed MBBS that I started routinely getting eyebrows done! No one would scold me now!

But that did not mean that my parents really approved of this vanity. When it was time to go meet prospective suitors my father would insist I don zero makeup ! A small bindi on my forehead was all I had ! And all it took for me to find my now husband of 31 years 😃

As much as I remained fascinated with makeup, I had seen its ugly side too. How could I forget the disasters makeup created for some of my close friends when they got married ? The supposedly extra special bridal makeup turned out so heavy and outrageous that the bride’s natural pretty face was transformed into something ghastly. The damage was irreversible! Those photos remained painful reminders forever!!

 

I learnt from their mistakes and preferred no makeup at all for my wedding day ! Despite my wishes, my dear friend Vidula ( more about her another day) summoned her beautician to the wedding venue in Pune. She did very minimal makeup and some simple hairdo on me and I was happy I still looked like myself when I entered the mandap as a bride.

Over the years, especially since coming to America, I experimented with cosmetics at every step. Still do. I love experimenting but I have grown used to a natural look. Most days it is just a moisturizer on my face. If I feel dull, a few light strokes of blush and a dab of lipstick does wonders to perk me up. 

My favorite thing to do during international travels is browse in duty free shops in the cosmetic sections. I try the skin products and I try lipsticks. And then I pinch myself to not buy any because plenty of these things are sitting at home, many of them unused ! 

During my journey toying with cosmetics I didn’t realize when my daughter blossomed into a lovely young lady herself. Unlike my mom, I let her do her own experiments. As she went to college and mingled with her girl gang she started advising and encouraging me to go beyond my blush and lipstick. She taught me how to use a curler for the eyelashes. I tried eye makeup only on her insistence. I still do it mostly when I am with her or for special occasions like weddings, holiday parties etc. 

I never mastered the art of makeup. However, one thing I did diligently since an early age was take care of my skin! Something I feel my daughter neglects.

In those years I didn’t have access or resources to buy exotic skin care products. Ponds cold cream in tiny amounts would serve as the moisturizer. Once a month mask-scrub with besan and turmeric would make me feel special. I was diligent about not picking at my face, even when that rare pimple made an appearance.

Somewhere in my late twenties or early 30s I read about the benefits of regular moisturizing and facials. I learnt to do my own facials at home. Got a small facial steamer for this. I still love the creams from India for the facial massage. To this day I make my facial mask/ scrub at home. Often 3-4 months go by before I remember it is time for the facial. Yet when I do it, it does wonders to rejuvenate me.

One secret I’ll share with you is about facial massage. Look up Tanaka massage on You-tube.

Hardly takes 2 minutes in the morning to do this as I apply the moisturizer. Surprisingly it was my mother who found out about this massage on YouTube and told me to do this over 15 -20 years back. I have made it part of my daily routine ever since.

Lastly a routine of facial muscle exercises. Simha mudra from our ancient yoga heritage is a wonderful facial exercise I learned from my uncle in Vile Parle when I was studying there in junior college. Many other facial exercises you can find on the internet. My routine is to do these when I hit the road to work each day. Usually it is just me on the road and nobody to watch my funny faces 😂. Listening to religious stotrams by MS Subbulakshmi and doing these facial exercises has been my routine for over 2 decades.

So much for the vanity. At the end of it, I realize, my parents were right after all.  Simplicity is the essence of beauty. What is more important is having a clean heart than a clean complexion. People will find you pretty outside if you are beautiful inside, not vice versa. But you don’t know this when you are young.

It is ok to indulge in lipstick if you feel like but it does not define your beauty. And certainly does not define you. 

Here’s me with my lipstick in a Dhakai jamdani in a light brown color contrasted with pink in the borders, buttis and pallu.