Sarvepi Sukhinah Santu
Sculptors and Weavers
ॐ सर्वे भवन्तु सुखिनः
सर्वे सन्तु निरामयाः।
सर्वे भद्राणि पश्यन्तु मा कश्चिद्दुःखभाग्भवेत।
ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः॥
One of the best things my dear Baba did for me is to send me to Vile Parle for junior college after my SSC ( high school). Vile Parle was a good transition from the laid back life in Khopoli to suburban living that was not quite filled with the hustle bustle of Mumbai.
There are many good things that came my way in those years. I made some new friends; at least one of them has become a friend for life and incidentally came to live in California so we continue to meet a few times each year. In fact I just met her yesterday. I met some really special teachers at Parle College but am not in touch with them. Nevertheless I have fond memories of many of them. Some of them had become fond of me as well.
In those years my parents couldn’t afford to buy a place in Mumbai. But they surely had the ambitions for their kids to get the best possible education. After having experienced a childhood of dependency on extended family due to his father’s early demise, my Baba would not let us have the rough experiences like himself. He wanted to provide us with an independence that he didn’t have the luxury of in his younger years. The Paranjape family in Vile Parle was/is very well known. When Appa Paranjape heard that Baba was sending his daughter to Vile Parle and looking for a place for her to stay he offered us his vacant 2 room place in a chawl opposite Parleshwar temple on Shraddhananda road.
It was an old dwelling, quite run down , single level building with a sloped tiled roof and about 4 or 5 units lined next to each other with a common porch in the front and an open ground in front of it and a well in one corner. The back of the building was along Hanuman Road. There were several coconut trees on the property. Adjoining this chawl was a chanawala shop. Half a dozen or more men from Uttar Pradesh ( bhaiyyas) would work in this shop and live on the premises in front of the chawl. They would bathe in the open using the well water. The toilets were common and outside the chawl. We shared it with all the families that resided in the chawl as well as with the bhaiyyas. Our “apartment” was at one end of the building and had one room plus a kitchen. The mori doubled up as bathroom and was part of the kitchen. A bed , a small table to study, a couple of chairs and a stand for TV was all the furniture we had there. My sister who is 4 years my junior was sent to school in Vile Parle in her 8th grade so I had company. One of our long time housemaids stayed with us to cook, clean and look after us. Baba would come once a week or in two weeks; at times aai would accompany him for the weekend. We adjusted just fine despite the arrangement being quite different from what we were used to in our home in Khopoli. Neither my sister nor me ever complained about the toilets or lack of privacy or shabby surroundings. We were there to study and that’s what we did.
I remember the quiet inner roads with big trees on either side that led from our place to Parle College. I would often ride my bicycle to the classes or simply walk.
The famed Vijay Stores of Vile Parle was on the same road as our place and barely a 5 -7 minutes walk. This was a family owned business. The Sathe family was another well known family like the Paranjapes in Vile Parle. Their products like Goda masala, thalipeeth bhaajani and many other typical Marathi staples carried a stamp of good quality. Bhau Sathe the founder of the business had created a legacy of trust, authenticity, quality and ethics. After him his younger brother Anna Sathe maintained the same values as he conducted the business.
For me the best thing that happened after moving to Vile Parle was meeting Anna Sathe. For me he was just Anna. Anna’a mother and my paternal aaji were sisters. So Anna was my father’s first cousin, my uncle. When I came to live in Vile Parle he became my local guardian although I wasn’t living with him. He accompanied us on the first day to get the admission to Parle College. He was very proud of my achievements in SSC and later 12th grade. I often visited his home in the evenings. His wife was my Kaku but I started calling her Mami because of their other niece and nephew living with them who referred to her by that name.
While Anna managed the shop, mami ran the home. Both were up early. Anna had a routine of suryanamaskars and yoga followed by pranayama after waking up. Mami took shower and did an elaborate pooja at the small devhara in their kitchen. She was a very heavy set lady, very fair, with light colored eyes and an unmistakable glow ( तेज) on her face. Draped in a soft cotton nauwari she would sit on a wooden stool to conduct the puja as well as kitchen work. Despite her weight making it difficult for her to ambulate around the house she was amazingly active. I have yet to meet any other person who can cook as good as her. Every item she cooked turned out to be brimming with flavor. A simple aamti or bhaaji would leave you wanting for the last drop or crumb and more. I am not exaggerating. She had magic in her hands.
While Anna was a man of principles, sometimes very rigid with old school thinking, mami was more progressive and had a sensitivity to understand the newer generation better. She was from Pandharpur and went to school only up to fourth grade. When I asked why she didn’t continue school she told me sheepishly that she didn’t want to walk in those days as the school was too far. Despite not much of a formal education there was no mistaking her sharp intelligence. I often saw her reading books in the afternoons. She was well informed of current affairs. And she had a keen eye for aesthetics.
I remember a funny incident from those days. Anna was getting some new furniture done in their living room. He gave a design to the carpenter that was very boxy looking. Mami found it awful and expressed it frankly. It looks like a train compartment, she said. Anna was offended. He got defensive and angrily retorted “ Too bad ! This is how it is and this is what it will remain. Like it or not you have to put up with !” But that was just his male ego at the forefront. Deep inside he took notice of his wife’s constructive criticism and sure enough the next day gave her the charge of instructing the carpenter. The end result was a definitely more elegant cabinet.
It wasn’t easy in those days for young brides coming to live with elderly conservative and strict in-laws. Mami had her own share of hardships under the circumstances but was a woman of great courage and dignity and stood her grounds when pushed around. During my interactions with her she told me about her experiences, not to complain about the elders but to make me better equipped to navigate my life. One such incident she shared was when in a fit of anger an elderly male member from the in-laws clan raised his hand at her. She stopped him right there and said “ if you touch me, I warn you, I will not hesitate to return at least one slap back. You decide whether to keep your respect “. The family was most certainly shocked with her audacity but they got the message. No one ever messed with her again.
Many times she would give me survival lessons by presenting hypothetical scenarios like “ you are married. Your parents need financial help. Your in-laws protest and don’t want you helping your parents. What will you say to them ? Are you going to bend to their orders ? “ Her message was “ stand up and say your parents have educated you. Because of them you are earning money. You owe them help when they need it . Don’t turn your back on your parents“.
She had this foresight and wisdom that she shared with me just like she shared with her four daughters who were already married by that time.
Lessons were also about simpler things like basic hygiene. One day at the lunch table I had touched a poli (roti) with my hand and extended the same hand to pick a serving spoon for some curry. I got an instant hard slap on the hand from mami before I touched the clean spoon. In Marathi there is a special word called kharkata ( खरकट), which means food that has been touched with bare hand(s) or hands that have touched food. It is a no no to use kharkate hands to touch another food item or utensil. Mami reinforced the habits and even to this day I follow them.
Outwardly strict but it didn’t take time for anyone to notice that she also had unparalleled kindness and generosity in her heart. Just like Anna did. Both of them opened their home to take in students who came from rural areas to study in Mumbai. Although my father had arranged for me to live separately, there were other kids who lived with Anna and mami in their home. Mami would pamper them and me with our favorite food. In the summer Anna would cut mangoes by the dozens for all . He would even feed us with his hands out of love.
One incident that will be permanently etched in my heart is when I was under the weather. For 2-3 days I was running a high fever and stayed in bed. Anna got worried because I hadn’t visited their home in a few days. He came looking for me. When he found me in that condition he yelled at the maid for not notifying him, put me in a rickshaw and took me to his home. Mami nursed me with homemade ayurvedic paste ( लेप) and elixir(काढा) at frequent intervals until my fever came down and I had recovered. The maid was given a warning for the future that if she didn’t keep them promptly informed of such things they would get her fired.
Both Anna and mami were deeply religious and God fearing people. I was just a teenager when I met them. My parents had never enforced any routine with worship or prayers on us although Baba himself faithfully did snaan-sandhya until the end. After observing me for a few days Anna was aghast. He thought I am an atheist (which I wasn’t.) He took upon himself to teach me daily prayers to say in the morning. I remember him putting on paper in his own handwriting :
Vakratunda mahakaaya koti surya samaprabh
Nirvighnam kurumedeva sarva karyeshu sarvada
Gananath Saraswati Ravi Shukra Brihaspati
Panchaitaani smarennityam ved vani pravartate
Saraswati namahstubhyam varde kaamrupini
Vidyarambham karishyaami siddhirbhavatume sada
Gurur Brahma Gurur Vishnu Gurur devo Maheshwarah
Guru saakshaat Parabrahma tasmai Shree Guruve namah
Sarvepi sukhinah santu
Sarve santu niramayaha
Sarve bhadraani pashyantu
Maa kaschit dukkha bhaa bhavet
Om Shanti shanti shantihi 🙏🏼
These five shlokas became my nityapath( daily prayers) since that day !
The reason I started writing this post was because of the fifth shloka that came to my mind on occasion of the New Year. Anna had first written only four. Then went on to add the fifth and remarked “ this is a very beautiful shloka”!
My teenage mind couldn’t fathom at the time what’s beautiful about it 🤔
Now I not only understand why Anna saw it as beautiful but I also get a better understanding of how much more beautiful Anna’s heart was than I could realize at that time.
May all be happy
May all be healthy
May all be bestowed with auspiciousness
May all suffering be banished
The four lines of this shlok embody the very essence of universal love.
It’s been several years since Mami passed away and then Anna a few years after her. But their love, kindness and lessons are wrapped around me forever. These are the sculptors who went beyond the call of duty to carve a human being out of a raw individual.
Those who can read Marathi check out Anna’s autobiography Chouryanshi Pavla ( 84 Steps). It is a worth read. Jawahar Book Depot in Vile Parle may have it.
My saree I draped yesterday on New Year’s Day January 1,2022 is an exquisite piece of art, a fine ikat by a celebrated weaver from Nuapatna in Odisha. The mulberry silk saree dyed with natural dyes depicts auspicious jhoti chita motifs that are commonly seen in Odisha homes. What the master weaver does by pouring his heart into the design of textile and bringing out the finest of ikat is in essence very much similar to what Anna and Mami did all their lives to mould the minds of all young people they came in close contact with. More about the weaver and his talent in another post in the future.
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