If only the Mind had an Ear

 

किसी की मुस्कुराहटों पे हो निसार

किसीका दर्द मिल सके तो ले उधार
किसीके वास्ते हो तेरे दिल में प्यार
जीना इसी का नाम है

If I was asked what is the best part of being a physician I would say the above lines pretty much sum it up. 

Every day I come across someone who is struggling with their life for one reason or another. Sometimes medical expertise is called in to help them. Yet sometimes all that is needed is a compassionate ear. 

Within a span of one week these are some of the patients I talked to :

A 30 year old woman who was home schooling her three kids all under the age of 7 and alongside struggling with alcoholism. She had the insight and motivation to come out of the drinking habit that she told me was a result of being molested as a child by her own father.

A 22 year old young woman who was feeling overwhelmed having to take care of her autistic brother who was just a year younger to her while both parents had a busy career.

A 62 year old woman who needed support to cope with a 44 year old daughter who was bipolar and refusing to take her medications and a grandson who was abusing prescription narcotics.

Yesterday was another encounter with a 42 year old woman I have known for 10 years or more. It has been a challenge getting her to take her diabetes medication regularly and keep her follow up appointments. During our conversation in the office yesterday she casually mentioned that now she is motivated to bring her diabetes under control because her cosmetic surgeon in Beverly Hills wants it under control before he will proceed with her liposuction and buttock augmentation surgery !! Honestly when I heard it I was aghast !! But I didn’t show it on my face ! 

I asked her earnestly, why ? She looked fine to me. Wasn’t overweight at all. Has a really pretty face. Why go under the knife to enhance a body part ? 

She was in tears as she confided with me her struggle with self esteem. 

This was not the first time I have had a conversation with someone about low self esteem. It is indeed a subject of great intrigue to me. Most of these women are really smart, attractive and successful. Yet their mind tells them otherwise. What they hear from their own mind is that they are not good enough !! And that creates a lot of sorrow. Not only do they not like themselves, they also begin to envy others. Like this patient they are willing to go to any length to change their body image. 

I spent a long time yesterday trying to make this woman think. To make her understand that self worth should come from the fact that she is honest, works hard, is compassionate towards others. Not from the size of her hips or waist ! The problem is not with the body. After initial excitement of enhancing the body she would be back to square one because the mind would lie again and tell her she is not good enough ! 

I knew she listened intently and her body language told me she could read the truth coming from me. Yet I am not sure if I can win against the powerful tricks of her mind. She sees me once or twice a year if I am lucky. But she lives with her mind every moment. 

If I can somehow magically make this woman realize that she is precious and perfect as she is I would consider myself useful to her. Until then it is just trying and trying. 

And just being there for my patients.

Saree today is another humble weave, this time from the state of Karnataka. This Udupi saree in natural dyes has an indigo body . The denim shade appears lavender from far due to the checks in red all over it. The red borders and pallu give a beautiful contrast. There are white buttis all over the body and yellow motifs on the pallu. The morning skies decided to be a good sport again and coordinated colors to provide a nice backdrop. 

किसी की मुस्कुराहटों पे हो निसार
किसीका दर्द मिल सके तो ले उधार
किसीके वास्ते हो तेरे दिल में प्यार
जीना इसी का नाम है

If I was asked what is the best part of being a physician I would say the above lines pretty much sum it up. 

Every day I come across someone who is struggling with their life for one reason or another. Sometimes medical expertise is called in to help them. Yet sometimes all that is needed is a compassionate ear. 

Within a span of one week these are some of the patients I talked to :

A 30 year old woman who was home schooling her three kids all under the age of 7 and alongside struggling with alcoholism. She had the insight and motivation to come out of the drinking habit that she told me was a result of being molested as a child by her own father.

A 22 year old young woman who was feeling overwhelmed having to take care of her autistic brother who was just a year younger to her while both parents had a busy career.

A 62 year old woman who needed support to cope with a 44 year old daughter who was bipolar and refusing to take her medications and a grandson who was abusing prescription narcotics.

Yesterday was another encounter with a 42 year old woman I have known for 10 years or more. It has been a challenge getting her to take her diabetes medication regularly and keep her follow up appointments. During our conversation in the office yesterday she casually mentioned that now she is motivated to bring her diabetes under control because her cosmetic surgeon in Beverly Hills wants it under control before he will proceed with her liposuction and buttock augmentation surgery !! Honestly when I heard it I was aghast !! But I didn’t show it on my face ! 

I asked her earnestly, why ? She looked fine to me. Wasn’t overweight at all. Has a really pretty face. Why go under the knife to enhance a body part ? 

She was in tears as she confided with me her struggle with self esteem. 

This was not the first time I have had a conversation with someone about low self esteem. It is indeed a subject of great intrigue to me. Most of these women are really smart, attractive and successful. Yet their mind tells them otherwise. What they hear from their own mind is that they are not good enough !! And that creates a lot of sorrow. Not only do they not like themselves, they also begin to envy others. Like this patient they are willing to go to any length to change their body image. 

I spent a long time yesterday trying to make this woman think. To make her understand that self worth should come from the fact that she is honest, works hard, is compassionate towards others. Not from the size of her hips or waist ! The problem is not with the body. After initial excitement of enhancing the body she would be back to square one because the mind would lie again and tell her she is not good enough ! 

I knew she listened intently and her body language told me she could read the truth coming from me. Yet I am not sure if I can win against the powerful tricks of her mind. She sees me once or twice a year if I am lucky. But she lives with her mind every moment. 

If I can somehow magically make this woman realize that she is precious and perfect as she is I would consider myself useful to her. Until then it is just trying and trying. 

And just being there for my patients.

Saree today is another humble weave, this time from the state of Karnataka. This Udupi saree in natural dyes has an indigo body . The denim shade appears lavender from far due to the checks in red all over it. The red borders and pallu give a beautiful contrast. There are white buttis all over the body and yellow motifs on the pallu. The morning skies decided to be a good sport again and coordinated colors to provide a nice backdrop.