Idiosyncrasies:Part 2




 Idiosyncrasies and Love: Part 2

The ugly side

The story continues from sunday evening when I was watching the Oscars Awards. ( I mistakenly said Saturday in the last post). 
The TV volume was a bit low and I couldn’t hear what Chris Rock said when he came on stage but the cameras shifted to Jada Pinkett Smith who shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes. Next thing I saw Will Smith get up and walk up the stage, fling a tight slap across the face of Chris Rock and walk back and shout something back. Same time the TV went mute. I was stunned as was Chris Rock himself and every person attending the show live or on air. What just happened? Was it staged ? What were they talking? I asked my husband to see why there is no volume but he couldn’t figure out. And then the audio returned. 
A few minutes later Will Smith was holding his Best Actor Oscar statuette and crying as he rambled away justifying his actions!!
Much has been discussed in the media since then about the incident !! Mistakes were made. And the repercussions may haunt Will Smith for years to come. 

What prompted him to get violent on a fellow performer on live TV ? Love for his wife ? Did she need him to ‘protect’ her in this situation? Is this the way she expected to be protected ? Does she feel better now than she did after the insensitive joke Chris Rock cracked at her expense? Few would disagree that Will Smith made a joke out of himself by losing self control. 

It is easy for us to point fingers at all the players in this unfortunate incident ! But what is not so easy is to have complete control over each of our own impulses, emotions and reactions. At the end of the day that’s what it really was ! A human weakness to react to a sensitive issue and act on the impulse to retaliate. 

Love is a good thing when it is pure. But when it gets overly possessive or if protectiveness enters the equation it becomes a liability. It must be complemented by grace and wisdom or it can make a fool out of us. When restraint is replaced by impulsiveness it will invite damage and disgrace. Will Smith and his wife could easily have spoken to Chris Rock backstage and let him know that they found his joke distasteful. They could have enjoyed the evening celebrating his win with so much more dignity and joy than how it turned out. 

Hind sight is always 20/20 as they say. I just take the lesson from that fiasco about need to stay on the guard when emotions are soaring. What NOT to do when someone pokes fun at your loved one. In fact as I write this I distinctly recall an incident like this about 5 years back when we were on vacation in Norway with some of our close friends. One of the ladies quipped, unprovoked, a rather uncharitable taunt to my husband. The others in the group were horrified and in disbelief that she said that. I was totally offended and furious but didn’t react in front of others. I texted her privately telling her that the comment was in poor taste. I got no response. It was rather uncomfortable the next day and for rest of the trip. But I put it behind me because over the years I had observed the side of her that is genuinely kind to others. I decided to forgive her in my heart. We remain good friends to this day. 

The Will Smith incident was a reminder to keep our own reactions to others’ indiscretions in check. Always think ! What could be a better way to handle such thoughtless insults?  How to make the other person respect and love you at the end of the day by simply conducting yourself with dignity even when letting them know that they did it wrong? May be some will still not respect and love you , but at least you will be able to respect and love yourself before you go to bed !! 

Saree is an Ajrakh print on modal silk.





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