Hello ! I am a physician too !

 

A week back I got a call from Arunaben who used to babysit my kids when we lived in Norwalk in Los Angeles, California. She and her husband were coming to Bakersfield with their senior citizens group to visit the local Hindu Temple on August 7th. She was eager to meet us. I confirmed we were in town and would surely love to come meet them. My equation with Arunaben has been of immense gratitude for taking care of my young kids like her own while I had to spend hours away from home during residency. In fact there was no way I could have completed my residency if she was not there.

So Sunday was the day they were coming. We went a few minutes earlier than their anticipated noon arrival so we could get some quiet time in the temple. It turned out to be quite a long time at the temple. Their bus had some trouble in the mountains and they were delayed by two hours. The local seniors had lunch and were enquiring about us. We politely deferred saying we will meet our friends and then go home and eat. However the bus was delayed so much that ultimately we agreed to eat lunch with them when they arrived. 

After lunch we sat in the corridor catching up, chatting with Arunaben and kaka( her husband). Rest of the group inside the shrine to sing bhajans.  A few minutes later one of the guests came out asking for some mukhwas( mouth freshener). She was feeling sick. She headed towards the dining hall. We didn’t think much of it. Later a friend of hers came out looking for her. We pointed in the direction we had seen her go. Within minutes the friend came out calling for help. So we rushed in. The woman was laying down on one of the dining tables. I went to her side and asked her what was happening. She said she had a headache and felt sick in the stomach. Then added that the day before she had her Covid shot and perhaps that was the reason she felt unwell. She tried to reassure me that she had taken a Tylenol( paracetamol) and would be ok, not to worry. It was a typical hot day in Bakersfield and the LA folks, especially senior citizens were definitely not used to this much heat. I had her drink water and asked her to rest. 

In the mean time the local organizer got the whiff of the sick guest and came rushing to the dining hall where we were. She saw my husband and told him to come take a look at the lady who was sick. Then kept telling her he will check you, he is a physician. I wondered what I was doing all this time ? Being a Dr’s wife? Doctoreen bai as they call in India ? I was totally sidelined. To advise or not advise was the issue. I stood quietly because by that time I had realized that the woman wasn’t too sick to worry. Probably a bit of heat intolerance, dehydration and some side effects of the vaccine. I watched as the organizer fussed over my husband being a physician 😂

Anyways. Soon it was time for the group to board their bus and get back on the road home. We bid goodbye to Arunaben and kaka. The last to leave from their group was the sick lady and her friend. 

Once they were all in the bus we thanked the organizers for their kindness to feed us. They were genuinely caring people. I held the hand of the main organizer and gently told her” by the way ben  I wonder if you know that I am a physician too? “. She hugged me and said “ oh I’m so sorry Madhavi. I don’t know why I goofed up. I’m so not thinking right”.  

All is good between us.

But the episode made me think. Stereotypes are hard to erase from minds. Even in today’s day and age women are not easily identified as professionals. It is a dilemma in my mind whether to assert myself or let it go?  My only reason to clarify today with the organizer is that in the future if such a situation arises she should not overlook me when help is needed. 

Since today was the actual Handloom Day I had picked one of my most precious sarees to wear at the temple. The saree is a masterpiece ikat from Nuapatna, in mulberry silk with extra weft borders made out of the prized Muga silk. There are beautiful joti chitta motifs all over the saree and on the pallu. The saree is dyed in authentic natural dyes. You can see cheap copies of this design these days from various vendors and I have spoken to a few about this. They claim that it is traditional Odiya design. The motifs are traditional but the design arrangement is intellectual property and using it to market at lower costs to unsuspecting consumers is nothing but theft. The original master weaver is one of the finest artisans in the country. He is a simple yet dignified man whose focus is on his art. He knows about the unethical practices around him but keeps quiet. In any case, a swan always remains a swan. The ones with the knowledge can recognize the difference.