Attitudes and Hearts

 

It was a regular working day albeit with some striking encounters. One of the earliest appointments in the day was a young woman who was a patient of a colleague. The chief complaint stated she was there for a physical exam. When I reviewed her chart it seemed she had completed all labs in recent months and had no particular problems to require additional work up. So as I walked into the room I greeted her and asked what was the physical for? She seemed grumpy from the start. “ what do I know ? I need a physical each year to continue my housing”. Turns out she had to provide proof of a yearly physical exam to continue living in low income housing. I asked if she had a form for me to complete. She didn’t have one. 

As I began to go through her recent lab results I noticed her thyroid test was a bit off. She was already under the care of an endocrinologist for that. As soon as I touched the topic of thyroid she started talking ill about the doctor. “ you all don’t understand that the number has nothing to do with how I feel. That doctor just wants me to do this test and that. I go and do it just so he shuts his mouth” ! 

My immediate response to that was “ that is quite disrespectful of you towards your doctor “. She tried to explain further but I could already read her miserable thoughts.

Towards the end of the visit she grumbled about the government that they don’t give clear instructions about what they need on the paperwork! I probably could have just left the room as it was really not my business to make her think. It however just came spontaneously to my mouth and I said to her “ They are providing you with housing. Perhaps being grateful may be a better way to look at things! “

 As I walked out of the room I  had learned a valuable lesson!  Entitlement is a disease. It prevents you from seeing what you are blessed with. Where entitlement resides , joy cannot coexist.

The very next room I entered I found a contrast awaiting me. This lady was coming as a new patient to my panel after her primary physician retired. She had a diagnosis of cancer in the kidney that had spread to lungs, pancreas and bones. She was receiving palliative care. If that wasn’t enough she was raising a nine year old grandson who had lost his mother to drugs less than two years back and whose father was into drugs as well. Despite everything she was cheerful, grateful to be alive, grateful to the doctors who took care of her, asked about my husband who had diagnosed her with the cancer and treated her until he retired. 

A little later the same afternoon I was seeing another woman who has been my patient for several years. She told me she was a bit worried about getting dementia because her mother was diagnosed with the condition when she was barely 47 and died when she was 61. This woman was 71 now. Her husband had passed away recently and step kids had driven her out of the home. She was going to move out of town and change to a new insurance. Before moving she wanted me to check her for dementia. On my testing she fared better than most people. I reassured her she showed no signs of dementia at the present time, not to worry. As she was leaving she turned and asked “ can I give you a hug?” We both had moist eyes as she told me “ you are a very kind and caring woman. I observed that from the day I came to you” and I told her to stay well wherever she would be. I often feel inadequate and full of flaws that need to be overcome. Yet when someone has kind words to say to you it touches the heart. 

A valuable lesson she taught me today was when she told me an incident when her mother was admitted to a nursing home in New York in the late stages of dementia. When this patient( the daughter) walked in there she saw a group of doctors treating her mom roughly. Mom looked really shaggy and with a blank stare. She( daughter) told them ( doctors) to back off. That day she went looking for Christian music and returned with a harp music CD and lots of flowers to decorate her mom’s room. She opened up the windows and played the music. Her mother suddenly was a different person. She tapped her hands and feet and began to recall this kind of music from her childhood. Another woman who was sharing the room also began to enjoy it. The harp apparently brings forth frequencies that match the heart and brain centers. A person may be demented but they can see, listen, taste, smell and feel touch. With the right sensory input you can reach the “life” that dwells in them. 

During that visit to the nursing home the daughter also pointed out to the other patient in the room that she is living as if she is going to die tomorrow. She told her to dress well, put her make up on and ask her husband to bring her the things she loves. Sure enough the woman did as told and it changed her way of looking at herself from pitiful to beautiful. 

I write this down so I don’t forget this special lady who came into my life and taught me so much just by being who she is. Her kind heart and generosity must be remembered. 

That hug she gave me today is to be remembered. 

Saree is a repeat Vidarbha tussar karvati kinar with checks.