Stereotyping

 

This was originally posted in a saree group.

I know many of you are waiting for the answer to the question I posed in the last post.

A simple thought had casually crossed my mind after I mentioned my friendship with the security officer at my office building. Wonder what the reader’s image of this officer would be? No one would ever picturize accurately who this person is ! And my suspicion was right afterall. 

The security officer in this case happens to be a Hispanic lady, probably in her late thirties. A rather heavy set woman, with cropped hair, dressed in security personnel uniform, collared, long sleeved white shirt tucked into blue pants and bearing security personnel badges, tags etc. Although we never discuss our personal lives with each other I am aware she has a same gender partner and she is aware I am married because my husband worked in the same organization. She is always polite and respectful but doesn’t speak much. We exchange good mornings and good byes when starting the day or leaving the premises. On rare occasions if there is a suspicious trespasser in the parking lot when it is dark in the early morning when we both arrive she gets protective of me and summons police to handle the situation if needed. Recently I was at Costco warehouse, when I noticed she was walking in front of me with her partner. So I called out with a hello. She turned and was pleasantly surprised. Haven’t seen you at work in some time Dr, she said. I told her I had been on vacation and will be back soon. A few days later I was back to work and asking her to take my picture 😃. A sort of silent friendship has sustained over the years. 

Wha was the factual answer to my question is irrelevant here. More important is the wide spectrum of answers that were received.

These answers are truly interesting and made me think about a lot of things. Things that honestly had not crossed my mind when I asked the innocent question .

 I can see that  these answers mirror each one’s experiences and beliefs. Perhaps created from what each has seen either in real life or on TV, movies etc. Quite a few presumed it was “him” when I had not mentioned the gender even once. Some had imagined the ethnicity of that person. Only a couple of you had not given ANY thought to the identity of this officer. 

The entire exercise brought forth two things for me :

How stereotypes exist in our minds

How fortunate I am to be working at a place that has consciously encouraged diversity and promoted equality of gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation and such things. 

Me, a woman of Indian origin, am able to practice medicine on equal grounds with my American graduate colleagues. 

I am able to come to work in an attire of my choice without anyone raising eyebrows or telling me to dress differently. Even if I am the only one in this “foreign“ attire. And even when my accent sounds different from people around me. What matters is my job performance. Nothing else. 

Talk about counting one’s blessings. In a world that has so much bias to overcome, my destiny brought me to a workplace that has a lot to learn from. Here, I could be who I am! Everyone who works here can be who they are.

Again something that tends to be taken for granted …..until a casual question makes one think and realize.

How can I not be grateful? 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Talking of grateful, my saree today, this gorgeous ilkal,is a gift of love from a lovely friend I met on SS who came all the way from Solapur to see me in Mumbai. The khun blouse I am wearing is stitched out of another gift of love from two other beautiful SS friends who came to meet me at the Pune meeting. Whenever I meet SS friends I make a plea for everyone to not bring me any gifts. I just want the joy of meeting everyone. I am not able to carry gifts with me for each one in reciprocation and also luggage restrictions limit what I can carry back with me. Yet when someone brings something with deep sentiments it is impossible to turn it away. 

Will cherish your friendship dear Suhasini, Shilpada and Mallika 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️

I feel equally grateful for the love of all others, some of you who I have met in person by now, and many others I’ve known virtually. And all this has been possible because of our very special boss lady, Vini Tandon Keni. 

Thank you. 

And I know many of you will be puzzled by the photos taken at an unfamiliar location. So the restless me called up a friend early this morning asking if she would be interested to drive up the mountains with me for breakfast or brunch at a favorite bakery cafe in Tehachapi. To my sheer delight she nodded yes. She and her husband picked me up and we had a wonderful drive and an enjoyable chat over brunch today. That’s where she took my pictures. But before they had arrived I practiced my selfies at the familiar locations😃.