End of Life Symposium in Las Vegas Feb 5-7, 2023

 

Meeting people at the End of Life Symposium :

In the three days at the symposium I had the good fortune to meet some remarkable people gathered to discuss the subject.

These are notes I made after the conference, though not all at the same time. 

Monday February 6th I had picked a tussar saree from Odisha in off white and black with hazar butti design. It gets its name from a thousand small motifs( buttas or buttis) woven across its body. This saree has these buttis in the form of fish and turtles spaced with grids. The pallu has bands of ikat ( tie dyed yarn) in between extra weft woven bands. The ikat sections display multiple motifs including fish, peacocks, deer, flowers etc hence referred to as sarabandha ( all encompassing tie dye) design. 

Just before the start of the symposium that morning I had run into Chandana Banerjee who specifically stopped to compliment my saree. Not knowing she is the chairperson of the symposium I foolishly sought her favor to take my picture in the saree. She was so gracious to say she would have her sister in law take my picture adding that the latter was the official photographer for the event. 

Soon the symposium started with the introduction by Chandana followed by the keynote speech and couple of more lectures. As I exited the main lecture hall during the first break Chandana spotted me and called me over to introduce me to Smeeta, her sister in law. Amazing that she remembered her promise in the midst of everything she was handling.

Smeeta was a tall lady, very much in contrast to Chandana‘s diminutive figure but they shared their charming demeanor . She introduced herself. Smeeta Mohanti was her full name. She told me she was raised in the USA but her mother was from Odisha and would wear Sambalpuri sarees like mine. Smeeta lived in Berkeley and was a professional photographer with her own website that she later shared with me when we exchanged contacts. She took a picture of me in the hallway. It was a half picture. When I requested a full picture to show the saree she suggested we move to a better location with more light. There was a side corridor leading to a terrace. In that corridor she found a place by a window where she asked me to stand looking out of the window and took a couple of shots. They were simply beautiful shots. She surely has an eye for portraits. I found that later as well when I checked her website. 

As we walked back to the symposium I casually mentioned to her about the book I was planning to publish about sarees in Kern County. Asked her if iPhone photos would be good enough for the project or it is better to hire a professional photographer and whether she would be interested. When I mentioned Kern County she told me she had gone hiking not too long back at Lake Isabella. I shared with her my recent picture at that site. She liked the picture and said that should be good enough for the book but advised me to talk to a publisher and agent. 

That evening I sent her a text explaining to her the pictures were for a saree group I belonged to and gave her my email if she preferred to send them that route. 

The next morning during one of the breaks she came over to say she had received my text but not had time to download the pictures, assuring me she would send them later. 

I am waiting for the pictures as I write this but irrespective of the pictures I feel it was my good fortune to meet her. Looking at her website gave me a better glimpse of the person she is. Someday I hope I will meet her again and hear in person about her initiatives with inner city/ underprivileged kids. My saree and of course Chandana must be thanked for getting me connected to Smeeta. 

There was a gentleman of Indian origin in the smaller group on the first day of the conference. The subject was communication skills for end of life conversations. Each attendee was asked to introduce themselves at the start of the session and say what they found challenging about these communications. The gentleman introduced himself as a Palliative Care physician Anto Malliakkal. I too had spoken about what I do and how my father’s last days made me want to do more about end of life care in India. The next day during a meal break Anto came up to me and said “ I heard your story yesterday”. We began to chat. He was originally from Kerala, went to Rome for medical school as one of his uncles was a priest there. Then moved to Chicago and now having his consultancy in Orange County. I asked him if he would be interested to give his time in India? He said why not. We were exchanging our numbers and he stopped for a moment when he read my last name. You are in Bakersfield? I knew a guy Risbud when I did residency in Chicago, he said. It was a “ small world “ moment. I put him on a video chat with Abhay as we were having lunch. They both were happy to see each other. 

Later that evening again he joined me at the table during the reception.

At the same first session where I saw Anto, there was an attendee sitting at my table in salwar kameez. We realized we both share the same first name. She was Madhavi Nagalla, a psychiatrist from Grand Rapids in Michigan.

I briefly met her again the following day after the session about codeswitching. As soon as she saw me she exclaimed “ I thought of you when they discussed that. Do you wear sarees to work? Me too, feels more comfortable in salwar kameez so this is what I wear to work”. 

The first day at breakfast I met a hospice nurse by the name of Penny Smith who had come from the state of Washington. She was one of the speakers that day. She has a significant following on TikTok for her videos about end of life issues. Something special about her was her sense of dark yet delightful humor that effectively conveyed serious matters to the lay person. 

Joining us at the table that same morning for breakfast was a young entrepreneur by the name of Lisa Pahl. She and a business partner made what they have named The Death Deck! Morbid though it sounds, it is a very innovative idea of having cards that read short sentences for hospice personnel to use when communicating with patients and their families. Turns out nurse Penny knew Lisa virtually but they were meeting in person for the first time. Penny was promoting the Death Deck for Lisa on her TikTok channel. These two creative women too joined me at the evening reception with Anto. 

One of the speakers on the last day of the Symposium was Dr Susan Wang. She spoke about end stage renal disease and role of palliative care. I went to meet her at the end of her talk. She happens to be the Regional Chief of Palliative and Hospice Services within my organization, Kaiser Permanente Southern California. I introduced myself as a KP physician in Bakersfield and told her why I was getting into this field. She was very gracious. 

As I headed to the lunch room from there a young lady by the name of Christina stopped by and said “ I overheard you telling Dr Wang that you are interested in doing hospice related work in India. I can get you contacts if people and resources that can help you in this”. She gave me her card and mentioned a few websites and organizations to reach out to. Her specialty is providing spiritual and religious counseling services in end of life situations. 

During that lunch I was joined by a gentleman Tom Quash. A tall man with a good physique he was of African American heritage. We introduced ourselves. He worked as a manager at Compassion and Choices, the major organization that sponsored this event and played a huge role in providing Palliative and Hospice services across the country. Before he had to leave Tom gave me his business card in case I chose to volunteer with them or needed any resources for my work. 

When I returned to the same table a few minutes later with dessert there was another gentleman standing there eating his lunch. It was awkward for several minutes as he went on with his eating and I dug into my plate without exchanging a word. Finally I decided to break the ice. His T shirt read Florida Keys. Are you from there or is it just a T shirt from there? He smiled somewhat sheepishly, acknowledging he is from South Carolina. His badge read Jaymi Mayers, MD. He told me he practiced as a family physician for 25 years before turning to Palliative Medicine. Ditto here. We shared our stories. He too had obtained the Hospice medical director certification which I was planning to get for myself. He told me his experience with that exam and his thoughts about a residency. We had a good chat. I took leave saying hold out roads cross again some time.

The conference was scheduled to run until 5 pm. During lunch I got hold of one of the organizers and asked if I could access the post lunch sessions virtually? That would allow me to reach home earlier. He was very sweet. Agreed to send me the zoom link but requested that I don’t share this with other attendees there. Sure enough we could leave    Vegas by 2 pm.

But before I left the place I had to go meet the star of this conference: Chandana Banerjee. I meant every word when I told her what an impressive symposium I found it to be. Her qualities I had observed in these short time were many and hard to put into words. She was a deceptively diminutive lady with brilliance that spoke from her eyes before it came out in words. She was energetic, organized, firm while managing time yet very courteous and had a tremendous capability of connecting with a new person in no time at all. Just like she bonded with me with a conversation about my sarees. She asked me about what I do and when she heard about my plans for India she enquired, what part of India? Pune. Why Pune? I told her I grew up in Khopoli and have homes in Pune and Khopoli. I was surprised to learn from her that she lived in Pune until the age of 15 before moving to the USA. Later I read her bio. She can speak Marathi ! She attended medical school in the Netherlands and did pediatrics residency before the fellowship in Hospice and Palliative care. Her accomplishments are many and outstanding. She also writes poetry and has published these. It was a great honor to know her for sure.

Once on the road I was again behind the wheel and had my earphones on and tuned into the afternoon lectures on zoom audio. There was a fair amount of traffic on the road. The talks went on right until we turned on to freeway 58 in Barstow. 

Further driving through watched one the most memorable sunsets across the Mojave desert.

Saree a tussar hazaar butti from Odisha. It has ikat on pallu with multiple motifs hence called Sarabandha.