Home Alone: Part 2

 

Home Alone: Deliberation continued

Understanding Dnyaaneshwar: Is it even possible?

Those who have followed my posts probably know by now my adulation for not just the saints of Maharashtra but also the Mangeshkar siblings for making the saint poetry such household themes. What I am writing today is related to both, Dnyaaneshwar and the Mangeshkars. Yet it is such an off topic that struck me most unexpectedly. 

On Friday as mentioned in the last post I spent the afternoon and evening home alone. It was raining outside and instead of making my way through the messy streets I indulged in watching some YouTube videos at home.

I came across a video filmed at a memorial service for Lata Didi in Pune last year. Many dignitaries spoke but the most moving tributes came from the siblings, Asha tai and Panditji. I cried when I listened to Asha tai.

 Panditji appeared very frail and spoke barely two three sentences. 

It would be an understatement to say that what Panditji ( Hridaynath Mangeshkar) said deeply affected me. It became a soul baring moment for me.

He said there was a Mauli (mother, referring to Dnyaaneshwar) in Alandi several centuries back. And another one in recent times (in the form of Lata Didi). He acknowledged he had spent a lifetime studying Dnyaaneshwar’s writings and also spent his lifetime with Didi. But he had failed to understand both, adding that he would spend his remaining days trying to understand them. Having said just this much he retreated back to his seat.

The whole thing shook me up at multiple levels. The first day it literally caused an earthquake in my inner self. Panditji who I look up with awe for his study and dedication of music towards Dnyaaneshwar’s( and other saints’) writings is the last person I would have expected to say that he failed to understand Dnyaaneshwar. If this man, after a long life of dedication, couldn’t understand Dnyaaneshwar then what hope could I have? 

It took me more than a day to get over that feeling of disillusionment. And only after the initial shock subsided was I able to take another look at Panditji’s words. They were haunting me. After a second look I was able to see them more objectively. They are really deeply thought provoking and poignant words. They shed light on both day to day truths as well as spiritual realities.

I realize he had spoken then barely a month or so after his sister had passed away. That too on a public platform. His sister was no ordinary sister. She was the crown jewel of India. Bharat Ratna Lata Mangeshkar. There are many other people who have been awarded this highest civilian honor yet I don’t know a single person in that category whose popularity comes close to that of Lata Didi, both at home and outside India. The entire country and a global community were mourning her loss. 

For him it was not Bharat Ratna Lata Mangeshkar who had passed away. It was his dear sister who meant much more than just an elder sister. As far back as he could remember from childhood, she was the breadwinner who sheltered all her siblings after their father passed away. She stepped into the role of guardian, caregiver, mother, father, mentor, and much more since her tender age of thirteen. Panditji was much younger at the time. In adulthood as he carved out his own career the relationship extended into a rare partnership between the siblings where his compositions found their match in the voices of his gifted sisters, especially Lata Didi. The two worked on so many exquisite albums dedicated to the poetry of various saints in both Marathi and Hindi. These are treasures now for generations to enjoy.

Such bond between siblings is beautiful and a great blessing. But it also carries some shortcomings. You know each other since the time when each was a nobody on the world stage. That familiarity is never replaced or even touched by the name, fame, fortune and recognitions that come in later life.

The enormity of the phenomenon of Lata Didi only dawned upon Panditji after she was no more. He has himself acknowledged it on a few occasions after her demise. So the man, himself now an octogenarian, was grappling with the personal loss of the most important person in his life and simultaneously, the gravity of this new awareness of how great she indeed was. The confusion makes sense. You think you know someone closely and suddenly you realize you didn’t know how big they really were.

 This happened to Arjun on the battlefield. He had grown up in the company of Krishna and shared a relationship of affection and trust as between cousins who are also friends. On such level Arjun was used to teasing and such other casual acts of irreverence that is normal between two people who  are equals and share a bond of love and understanding. Suddenly at Kurukshetra at an intense emotion filled time when Krishna as his charioteer began to narrate the timeless wisdom of Karma Yoga and revealed his Vishwaroop ( Universal Form) Arjun was shaken up. He found himself embarrassed, terrified, confused and remorseful for his own prior irreverence that stemmed from ignorance. The big difference was that Krishna was still physically present there and Arjun had the opportunity to express apology and regret.

In most cases the greatness of a person is realized in better measure after the person is no more. Until then we are like Arjun. We may have affection and respect but the intimacy blinds us to the full worth of the other person. What they meant to the world and what they meant to us. Our prior estimates always fall short. Even the people who annoy us when they are alive, their goodness becomes more visible when they are gone. Such is the tragedy in life. 

I could understand for once what Panditji meant that day when he said “ I knew Didi all my life but I realize now that I did not understand her. I will make an attempt to understand her from now on.”

What about Dnyaaneshwar?

Perhaps it’s the same thing. Panditji has been so deeply involved in reading and interpreting Dnyaaneshwar’s writings that it bred a familiarity and affection in his heart for this brilliant and endearing saint of the thirteenth century. 

All the study, however thorough and deep it may be, happens at the level of the intellect. And Dnyaaneshwar being a realized soul was at the same level of God Consciousness. Krishna Himself has declared in the Bhagwad Gita that my true devotee is ME. As such God or his self realized devotee is beyond the grasp of intellect. When the Vedas accepted defeat in understanding or describing God where are we mortals and our limited intelligence? Human intelligence is incapable of knowing the infinite truth and human speech is even more inadequate in expressing the same. This plane of consciousness can only be experienced through intuition.

Panditji’s lament that he failed to understand Dnyaaneshwar now becomes understandable to me given the context of the moment when he said that. I have no doubt in my mind now that Panditji knows the essence of Dnyaaneshwar and Vitthala. This realization has brought me peace and hope that I seemed to have suddenly lost after watching that video on Friday. A lifelong study of the saints can’t go entirely to waste. There is no room to think otherwise. Thank God there is light ahead. And always will be.