The Ugly Duckling

With my photographer❤️
 



Story of the ugly duckling:

This week on our class WhatsApp group, the topic drifted from the photo of swans to a Marathi song by the famous Marathi poet Ga Di Madgulkar about the story of the ugly duckling. As the discussion on the song and story carried on, a thought crossed my mind in a way it had never crossed before. 

Let’s look at the song and the story it tells in 3 simple stanzas. We’ll leave the last stanza for later. 

Ekaa talyaat hoti badake pilay surekh
Hote kuroop vede pillu tayaat ek 

Once upon a time, in a lake there were some cute little ducklings. Amongst them was a single, rather awkward and unsightly duckling!

Koni na tyaas gheyi Khelaavayaas sangay 
Sarvaa huni niraale te vegalay tarange 
Daavoni bota tyaala Mhanti hasoon loka 
Ahe kuroop vede Pillu tayaat ek 

 Noone wanted to play with this duckling that looked different from them. It swam all alone, keeping a distance from rest of the brood. The others pointed fingers and made fun of this lone duckling, calling it names like ugly and stupid.

Pillaas dukkha bhaari Bhole rade swatahshi 
Bhaavanda na vichari Sangel te kunashi
Je te tayaas toche Daavi ugaach dhaak 
Hote kuroop vede Pillu tayaat ek 

The poor duckling felt very sad and cried to himself. He was abandoned by his siblings and had no one to share his feelings. Everyone would be nasty to him and bully him. Such was the miserable life of the ugly duckling! 

Each of us, at some point in our lives or another, are like the ugly duckling in this story. Whether truly mistreated or bullied by others, marginalized by society, discriminated against for our race, gender, language and such things beyond our control , struggling to fit in with our peers or dealing with our own internal demons such as insecurities or low self esteem. We are grappling in the darkness while rest of the world seems to be basking in sunshine. There is a loneliness inside that only the person knows. The voice is too feeble to express or be heard. The world has no time to spare, to notice the fear in those eyes or read from the quiver on the lips. The unhappiness is eroding the insides. And you wonder if you have a tomorrow and if so will it be any different from today. 

My mind was flooded with several examples of ugly ducklings depicted in old Hindi movie songs.

Jeevan toh soona hi raha
Sub samjhe aayi hai bahar
Kaliyon se koi pucchtaa 
Hansti hai woh ya roti hai
Aisi bhi baatein hoti hain
Aise bhi baatein hoti 
Kucch dil ne kaha 
Kucch bhi nahin…..

( Even on the brink of youth, my life remained lonely. Yet the world mistook that spring had arrived.
Alas, if someone would bother to ask young buds on the threshold of spring, if they are happy or sad at that juncture! 
There are some conversations that are made in silence. Things that one’s mind says to oneself. 
And then dismisses them the next moment. 
No one ever hears these. )

Kaifi Azmi gave expression to this tender, touching monologue of Anupama, a motherless young woman who was raised by a father who hated the sight of her, blaming her for the death of his dear wife. She was a sensitive young lady with refreshing sensibilities even though ignored by her own father.

Yun hasaraton ke daag mohabbat mein dho liye
Khud dil se dil ki baat kahi aur ro liye

(Failed attempt at love wiped out all traces of my dreams and desires.
I shared my feelings with my own heart 
and cried on my own shoulder.)

In this old song from the old movie Adalat, lyricist Rajinder Krishan pens the loneliness and despair of the heroine, another ugly duckling. 

Tere jahan mein aisa nahin ke pyar na ho
Jahan ummeed ho iski wahan nahi milta 
Jise bhi dekhiye woh apne aap mein goom hai
Jubaan mili hai magar hum-jubaan nahi milta 
Kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahan nahi milta
Kahin zamin toh kahin aasman nahi milta 

( Oh Lord, in this world that you have created, it is not that love does not exist. 
Yet often it is not found where we hope to find it.

Wherever you turn to look, every person is engrossed in himself/ herself. 
There is faculty of speech in each person but difficult to find someone who speaks the language of your heart. Difficult to find a soul mate.

No person ever finds a perfect world. There is always something missing. You can’t have the earth and the sky at the same time. Fortunes change with time and place.)

 Poet Nida Fazli’s poignant ghazal spells out the harsh realities of mortal life. This ghazal was later used in the movie Ahista Ahista starring Padmini Kolhapure, who plays the daughter of a prostitute.

Jaane woh kaise log the jinke pyar ko pyar mila 
Humme toh jab kaliyan maangi kaaton ka haar mila 

(Wonder who were those people whose love received love in return ? When I yearned for tender flowers, all that came to my share was a garland of prickly thorns.)

Sahir Ludhianvi laments about unrequited affection in this song from Pyaasa. The hero, another ugly duckling, got a raw deal in his relationships.

The outcomes of each of the above ugly ducklings was different. Some tales had a sad ending, others could rise above their circumstances. You can see the movies to find out. 
Each of those characters however had one thing in common. None of them, not even Anupama, looked for the ultimate redemption. These characters never got beyond the confines of their minds.

Today when I was humming the song about the ugly duckling, suddenly the meaning of its last stanza shone in my mind in a way like it had never done before. 

Eke dini parantu pillas tyaa kalaale 
Bhay ved paar tyaache Waarya savay palaale 
Paanyaat paahtaanaa Choruniyaa kshanaika 
Tyaachech tyaa kalaale to rajhansa ek 

One fine day, however, something suddenly changed. The ugly duckling was floating alone and happened to glance at the water. He chanced upon his reflection in the clear waters. In an instant all his fear and confusion flew away like the breeze. He realized he was not what he had been thinking he was all this time. 
He was not a duckling at all ! 
He was a beautiful and majestic swan! 

I haven’t come across a more beautiful imagery of the state of meditation or the state of self realization!!

Swimming or floating on quiet waters!! 
Seeing the reflection in still waters !

This is a metaphor for introspection with a quietened mind. That sakshi state where you are simply a witness for the entire universe, both the universe outside and the inner world of your mind. The thoughts, your body image, your life story, your experiences, relationships, hopes, dreams, fears, and everything you have learnt until now. None of that is you.
Suddenly what you had identified as being you becomes external. 
It’s not you !! 

The real you is unblemished. Unlike anything you can name. You have to experience that Self to know. Any description I may provide here will sound cliche. 
Sat-chit-ananda! Truth- Consciousness-Bliss! ?
Try it and feel it to verify if it is indeed what these three words describe it to be. Just like tasting sugar to know firsthand what sweet really means.

No wonder the ugly duckling could see itself as a majestic swan when it saw its reflection in clear waters! 

We are locked within the confines of our body, mind and intellect complex. Until we step back we will deal with all the imperfections of the ugly duckling. When really each of us is a majestic swan. 

For us to see that reflection we need to swim out alone. Not forever, in the physical sense. But from time to time, on a regular basis. Swim in quiet waters. And look at the reflection. The reflection will never be distorted in still waters. 

There will always be a happy ending for the ugly duckling who dares to swim alone to see his reflection in such clear waters. 

Saree is my mother’s printed chiffon from Garden Vareli. Picture taken in Tamhini Ghat today on the outskirts of Pune. My nephew and his wife took me along for this joy ride in the rains. It was an absolute delight to drive through the fog, watch the clouds glide on the Sahyadri peaks, feel the rain and the mist from the numerous waterfalls along the road. Picture taken enthusiastically by my nephew’s 5 year old son.
With my photographer.


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