Baaton Baaton Mein: Part 2

 

Baaton Baaton Mein: Part 2

About Language: Part 2

Earlier in the morning I placed a call to my phone company in India to report an issue I was having with the network for past 2 weeks. I was greeted by an automated message, first asking me what language I preferred. I chose option # 3 for English.  Next I was asked if I wanted to make it my default language. I pressed #1 for yes.

 ( I will explain in part 3 about why I chose English over Marathi or Hindi from their menu).

  I had then to choose from options regarding the service I was calling for. I picked option to speak to a representative. Soon a lady answered from the other side. She greeted in Hindi. I returned the namaste and asked if she could speak English. She gave an ambiguous reply. What is the issue she asked in Hindi. When I started to explain the problem in English she interrupted and said can you please tell me in Hindi. That irked me. 

Why did your system ask me to pick a language to begin with?  And again had me confirm if I wanted that language as my default language? Then put me in touch with a representative who can’t speak in that language?

 She had no answer except she kept asking me if I knew Hindi. Lucky for me that I did. I relented though I was not happy. She took some information from me to verify my account, then informed me that the network issues I was having were because I had used up my data allowance. I would need to recharge if I needed more data. I asked her about available plans and she gave me all the information I needed. However I would have to buy it through their app on my phone. After she hung up I tried the app but the plan I wanted wasn’t to be found on their website. So I went to the nearest store which was about a twenty minute walk and got the recharge done.

From there I went to my clinic. I had two new referrals for patients admitted at the hospital. I went to their respective floors accompanied by the two counselors assigned to my clinic. The first patient was  a 35 year old man newly diagnosed with diabetes who was also an alcoholic. With him was a young woman who I thought was his wife but the patient said his wife was on her way. The woman introduced herself as his sister. When I mentioned that she too must check out for diabetes because of father and brother having diabetes she changed her tune and said she is the man’s girlfriend. I spontaneously said to the man “ wah Rao, bayko pan, maitreen pan ! “ ( Bravo, you have a wife and also a girlfriend!) Everyone laughed. He claimed his wife was aware of the girlfriend and told me he would send both women and his brother to my clinic!! (My job is to counsel family and friends of alcoholic patients, not just the patients). 

Next we went to see a 70 year old man who was admitted after an episode of delirium due to low sodium after receiving chemotherapy for prostate cancer. His sons were in the room. I introduced myself to them. When I asked the patient why he was in the hospital one son gestured to me that we talk outside the room. So I stepped out with them. The sons had not informed the patient of his cancer diagnosis because he would panic and their mother would panic also. They told me that the patient chews tobacco and also that last year he had tried giving up the habit but could not tolerate the side effects hence went back to using it. I asked if I could address the tobacco habit with the patient and offer help without mentioning the cancer diagnosis? They were ok with that. 

So I went back into the room and started talking to the patient. Kaka tumhi tambaku gheta ka? Kiti varsha? ( Uncle, do you chew tobacco? For how many years?)

When I broached the topic of his tambaku ( chewing tobacco) he seemed very eager to talk about it. He told me he had acquired the habit since the age of thirteen and felt he should quit but found it difficult. He gave me an account of his entire journey of nearly sixty years with tobacco, telling me that somehow he always had friends who would provide it to him for free. He regretted and cussed himself for his bad habits but expressed gratitude that his good karma had made his sons become good people and that they stayed away from tobacco. He was willing to take our help to quit. He agreed to follow up in my clinic after he was discharged. 

When I took leave of him and left the room the sons came out and had some legitimate questions regarding the benefit of having the patient quit at this stage, what good would it do etc etc. I agreed that I wouldn’t push too hard given the circumstances. It may however offer him an opportunity to overcome his guilt and regret and possibly improve his immunity and positivity. If patient was keen to quit I would help him. More importantly I took the opportunity and made a pitch to the sons to refer their friends or other family members if anyone had addiction issues, obesity , diabetes etc. I mentioned about screening tests for cancer. Both suddenly showed interest and said they would come to my clinic to learn more about cancer screening.

As I took leave of them and took the elevator downstairs I chuckled to myself. The role of an ambassador for preventive care is not new to me. But to connect with my patients and their families this way entirely in Marathi was a new experience and a very enjoyable one. It had a different flavor to it. I do the same work in California yet it lacks something. I can’t put my finger on it. I felt at home here. 

No sooner than this thought crossed my mind, the very next moment a realization dawned. This comfort with mother tongue is not right.  I must transcend language if I must do my job right. Marathi or English or Hindi, I must have the same connectivity with my patients. (Incidentally in California a lot of Indian patients who don’t speak English come to me and I speak to them in Hindi.) My patients in California must get the same devotion from me as I feel naturally when speaking in Marathi.

And as soon as that realization came the next thing that came to mind was my conversation with the phone company representative earlier in the morning. Why did I get upset because she wouldn’t speak to me in English? Why was I so hung up that she make an effort to speak in the language of my choice ? 

Language is a matter of pride and cultural identity and sensitivity. True.

 Language is an art, a skill and much more.

 True.

Enforcing use of a particular language for government business or in schools or home is justified. 

True.

Because it serves a specific purpose in these situations. 

But trying to enforce such policy in other public places is not only inappropriate , it is impractical. 

For most practical purposes, language is merely a tool to carry on business and must be used as a tool, and nothing more.

 No use bringing personal preference, pride and cultural value into the equation here. 

In California we encounter a lot of immigrants from South America. Many of them, even after decades in the United States, refuse to speak in English. They insist on speaking only in Spanish. It irritates me because it seems to me that they are in an English speaking country but they don’t want to make efforts to learn the local language. The law  makes it obligatory to provide interpreter services so we must oblige. They know it and take full advantage of it. It takes twice or thrice the amount of time when you have to make the conversation through an interpreter. That puts us behind schedule and that irritates me. 

When my son was attending medical school in Miami I had some of my worst experiences with Spanish speaking people who are in a majority there. Even if they know English they pretend they don’t know it and make you bend or break. In that situation language is used as a form of aggression to establish dominance over others. My way or highway is their attitude! And when those people hold important positions you find yourself at a complete loss. From airport and airline staff to food service workers to public transportation workers everyone ignores you if you don’t speak Spanish. Such is their clout and arrogance. Absolutely rude lot, almost amounting to mafia. My son used to say “ Happy to be back in the USA “ when he flew home from Miami to California. 

One must be prepared to come half way and reach out to the other person if there is a common language you both know. In the USA it is English that I can use, in case of the phone representative Hindi was a language I could use. In these scenarios to insist on Marathi is stupidity and arrogance. And because the other party doesn’t speak Marathi, to be less professional or less compassionate with them would be immature and immoral. 

The unexpected insight I got today from my interactions allowed me to see the situation with language through a new paradigm. I should not let my opinion regarding the people who don’t adapt to situations interfere with my work ethics. 

One must be clear about the purpose of language in any given context. Outside of government and teaching institutions or inside your home one must be able to open the windows of the mind and let fresh air in. If you try to extrapolate the practice of using just one particular language across the globe, and in common sense scenarios,  you will  make a fool out of yourself. 

Context is important for language.

I must know when pride for language is appropriate and when it is not. For that I must recognize the fine line where a healthy pride turns to unhealthy ego and bias. Humanity and human intelligence must transcend language or all values will be lost in translation.