Aye ri main toh prem deewani

Aye ri mai toh prem deewani 

We saw how Sant Tukaram expressed his yearning for Vitthala in Bheti Laagi Jeeva.

In one of her bhajans Meerabai expands a bit more in the same context. 

( I love the version of this song in the voice of Suman tai Kalyanpur.) 

ए री मैं तो प्रेम दीवानी मेरा दर्द न जाने कोई

Aye ri mai toh prem deewani 

Mera dard na jaane koi

I am a woman who is crazy in love,

No one understands my pain! 

घायल की गत घायल जाने जो कोई घायल होय
जौहरि की गति जौहरी जाने की जिन जौहर होय

Ghaayal ki gati ghaayal jaane

Aur na jaane koy 

Johari ki gati johari jaane

Keejay na johari hoy 

Only one who is himself wounded can truly understand the suffering of another wounded person.

Worth of a precious piece of jewelry made by a skilled jeweler can be precisely gauged by another experienced jeweler alone.

Certain qualifications are necessary to fully understand the saints. 

Though many saints have cited examples from day to day emotional experiences that make them relatable, it is not always possible to understand their ordeal unless one has personal experience of the emotional roller coaster that these saints endure in their spiritual journey.

सूली ऊपर सेज हमारी सोवन किस विध होय
गगन मंडल पर सेज पिया की किस विध मिलना होय

Suli upar sej hamari

Sovan kis vidh hoy

Gagan mandal par sej piya ki

Kis vidh milanaa hoy

My bed is laid upon sharp pointed spearheads. How can I sleep?

My lover’s bed, on the other hand, is set high up in the skies;

How then is it possible for us to unite and consummate the relationship?

Meerabai gives us a picture of the constant striving to reach higher levels of purity and spiritual enlightenment. The stark contrast between the prickly path of a seeker and the poise of the perfectly enlightened soul is highlighted in this verse. There are dejections, pain and suffering strewn in the path of spiritual seekers. Yet they have chosen it with full understanding of their goals. These hardships, though they bring moments of despair, are not deterrents for these devotion struck saints.

दर्द की मारी बन-बन डोलूं बैद मिला नहिं कोय
मीरा के प्रभु पीर मिटेगी जब वैद्य सवलिया होय

Dard ki maari bana bana dolu 

Baid mila nahi joy

Meera ke Prabhu peer mitay jab

Baid saawaliyaa hoy

I wander from one place to other seeking a remedy for my pain,

But nowhere is a healer to be found who can cure my pain.

I,Meera, seek my Lord because the separation from Him is very painful. My suffering can only end when the Lord Himself comes to me and becomes the Healer. ( See the similarities between this and Tukoba’s imagery of the hungry infant who can only be pacified by his mother’s feeding.)

Whether in Tukaram’s Bheti Laagi Jeevaa or Meera’s Aye ri main toh prem deewaani , the goal is always clear in their mind: Union of their individual soul with the Universal Spirit. Whether they recognize it in the form of their chosen deity or pursue the Formless Spirit that pervades everything, their devotion is clearly above and beyond the love or lust for a mortal being. Sooner or later it will culminate in seeing their “beloved” in all creation including mortal beings. Years and years of emotional labor has gone into it before their deh buddhi becomes feeble and finally surrenders, paving the path for The Ultimate Union. 

For me the task at hand is to remain vigilant about every thought that arises in the mind and be able to recognize whether it is associated with the story of the body or the independent spirit. Recognize thoughts and be honest about them. An honest mind is sensitive enough to feel the discomfort of a wrongful thought and will learn to navigate towards that which brings more peace. Got to allow the mind time and space to find its way.

 I remind myself that all rivers are destined to reach the ocean, sooner or later. They just need to keep flowing ahead. 

Tukaram Maharaj has said in one abhang ( also recorded in the voice of Lata Didi):

Haachi nema aataa na phire maaghaari !

“ It is my resolve now that I will not turn back”( from my spiritual quest)

My personal experience has been that when I invest even a tiny fraction towards spiritual growth the universe rallies to multiply the effort many times over. God’s presence is felt but can’t be expressed. 

 As I write this my mind is gliding on some beautiful lines by the poet Jaan Nisar Akhtar, also recorded in the voice of Lata Didi.

ये दिल और उनकी, निगाहो के साए
मुझे घेर लेते, है बाहो के साए

Yeh dil aur unki nigaahon ke saye

Mujhe ghera lete hain baahon ke saye

My heart lives in the shadow of His gaze

I can feel His invisible arms around me.

यहा से वहा तक, है चाहो के साए

Yahan se wahan tak hai chaahon ke saye

The path from here to there is covered under the shade of love!

How boring life would have been without these poets.

How less romantic it would have been connecting with God without them!! 

Saree is a repeat hand spun hand woven cotton fabric with Ajrakh print on it