Manaavar ghetla tar

 

Manaavar ghetla tar……..

Exactly 2 years back on September 6th 2021 I was on vacation in Utah in western USA with my sister and we signed up for skydiving in Moab. We were fitted with a harness to connect with a professional for tandem diving. Then boarded the small plane that would take us to an elevation of 13,000 feet above sea level. We were given instructions in the plane regarding the actual procedures to follow for the dive. I had made up my mind to overcome the protective instinct for the physical body, push aside the fear of death and simply to enjoy every moment of it. The critical moment that tests this preparedness is when you actually do a rocking motion at the open door of the plane and next second leap outside into the open sky simply holding on to the faith that your parachute will open. 

That moment taught me many things. But it certainly can’t qualify as the most difficult thing I’ve done. Several instances since that adventure made me realize that jumping out from a plane was much easier than many other things in life. One of them is gaining control over anger.

This year is the second year anniversary of my sky diving experience and it happened to be Janmashtami. The day Lord Krishna incarnated on Earth to save the good and destroy the evil. One of HIS biggest tasks in that incarnation span was to deliver the wisdom of the Bhagwad Gita. 

In chapter 3 last 7 verses ( 37-43) HE elucidates how man’s biggest enemy is anger(and its conjoined twin, desire). Anger leads the best of men astray and hence HE advises to conquer anger. 

श्रीभगवानुवाच |
काम एष क्रोध एष रजोगुणसमुद्भव: ||
महाशनो महापाप्मा विद्ध्येनमिह वैरिणम् || 37||

My last 3 days had been clouded with an argument that happened between a friend over a rather trivial matter. An unexpected blunt response from her stoked my sensitivity. Once my wrong side is rubbed God help me and God help the other person! The lioness in me roars and the jungle creatures shudder at the wrath that is expected to follow. 

Yes this is one of those “what about me” moments I had talked about in a recent post. My hurt ego declaring loud and clear that you can’t talk to me like this. My spiritually mature self telling it to take it easy. But neither of them able to control the cascade of events in these rare situations. No matter how hard I tried to rein in the hurt and anger, a part of my brain would not let it go. I had to get to the bottom of it with the person who started it. 

Inevitably it brings a sense of internal defeat. I can let go the possessiveness for the physical body but I can’t conquer anger!! What a shame!! 

It will need a lot more preparedness than I had before jumping out of the plane! That would be the true offering for Krishna ! 

Though my mind was filled with defeat and shame I still wrapped Krishna around me today. This beauty was a gift of love to me when I was in Pune last November. I had saved it for today. Didn’t realize the day would be bittersweet.