September: Suicide Prevention Month

September 21, 1999

A phone call in the middle of the night is always rattling. But that night’s call rattles me even after 24 years!! A friend had called urging me to send my mother back to India urgently. My brother was unconscious. My immediate reaction was “please take him to a good hospital”. Two minutes later, the phone rang again. Again the same conversation from both sides. After 3 calls my instincts told me that the other person does not want to tell me the truth. So this time I asked my husband to answer the phone. And yes. My fears were true. It was too late to send my brother to the hospital !

The events that followed after that phone call are etched in the memory. Such experiences of deep personal losses are worth an entire lifetime of growing up. They break you apart and then make you rebuild your life piece by piece. They teach you to feel the pain of someone else going through similar devastation. And they give you enough strength and wisdom to help others cope and stand up after being hit by tragedies. 

Bahinabai Chaudhary, a woman of extraordinary wisdom without any formal schooling, in one of her spontaneous poems says: 

Mana jahyari jahyari

Yaacha nyaara re tantar 

Aare inchu saap baraa 

Tyaale utaare mantar 

The mind is much too poisonous! Its ways are difficult to fathom. Snakes and scorpions are in many ways better than the mind because there are antidotes for their venoms. 

One impulsive moment and the mind strikes out a precious life! Every 40 seconds it snatches one life on earth. Three lives in 2 minutes. 800,000 in a year ! For every life lost due to suicide there are 25 contemplating the same and 135 experiencing intense grief. These are staggering numbers. 

If the person harming himself or herself knew what he/she means to the parents or loved ones would they do it ? If they knew that their loved ones would never recover from this loss, would they do this ? If they knew that life is not going to be dark and lonely for long, would they do this? 

We don’t have all answers. 

But we know some common factors that lead up to suicidal thoughts and behaviors. We also know some signs to recognize these behaviors. If more people are made aware of these they can perhaps bring a sense of belonging and comfort for those who begin to see life as worthless. Yet more than one person helping another, each person should be taught to help himself or herself.

My favorite couplets are from my most favorite author, Bhagwan Shri Krishna in my most favorite books Bhagwad Gita !!

Chapter 6:5

Chapter 6:6

उद्धरेदात्मनात्मानं नात्मानमवसादयेत् |
आत्मैव ह्यात्मनो बन्धुरात्मैव रिपुरात्मन: || 5||

uddhared ātmanātmānaṁ nātmānam avasādayet
ātmaiva hyātmano bandhur ātmaiva ripur ātmanaḥ

बन्धुरात्मात्मनस्तस्य येनात्मैवात्मना जित: |
अनात्मनस्तु शत्रुत्वे वर्ते तात्मैव शत्रुवत् || 6||

bandhur ātmātmanas tasya yenātmaivātmanā jitaḥ
anātmanas tu śhatrutve vartetātmaiva śhatru-vat

A person is his own friend or enemy. One who gains control over his mind becomes a friend to himself. Those who don’t prove to be their own worst enemy. 

Coincidentally September is Suicide Prevention Month! As poignant as this month and date is for me, today I am slated to talk to about a hundred 11th grade students at a prominent college in Pune regarding Suicide Prevention. Not all subjects are taught in college. Not all topics are discussed within families or with friends. Social taboos and the fast pace of life often thrusts young people into a turbulent course of events that they don’t know anything about or have anyone to confide with. These young minds need the tools to navigate through difficult situations in life. They need to be empowered with awareness about the double edged weapon that is the human mind and the training to use it for greater purpose than self destruction. My hope is to see them dodge tragedies and share stories of triumph with their grandchildren someday. 

Saree is a handloom linen in bluish grey with Sufi hand embroidery.