Saatvic Ego

My husband was listening to a lecture on YouTube the other day and I overheard an interesting argument about ego that I thought was worth pondering over. The speaker said that the worst kind of ego is that which arises after good deeds! How so? 

If the deeds are bad there is a possibility that somewhere down the road one may realize the folly and have remorse. But when pride arises after good deeds what could wipe out that ego? 

I remembered a story about a wealthy man who was philanthropic. Every auspicious occasion he would distribute food or money to the needy. While doing this he would lower his gaze and avoid eye contact as a gesture of shame and guilt. A man who had many times been a beneficiary of the charity had observed this behavior. One day he couldn’t resist asking. Why do you hesitate to look into my eyes when you give me anything? The philanthropist replied that’s because I am guilty of being recipient of the credit of the donation when the wealth belongs to God. 

Indeed the saints lived and taught this philosophy. Do good deeds and the next moment forget about them. When you assume doership you invite entitlement. This entitlement is a burden. It will sooner or later cause disappointment. I did so much for everyone and when I needed help no one returned the favors!

I remember every time time I felt grateful and thanked my father for anything he would brush it away and say, I did no favor to you. I just did my duty. Favor is indeed a peculiar thing. If you think or say that you did a favor to someone it no longer is a favor. You remember and the beneficiary forgets. But conversely if you do good but don’t think or say that you did anything, then you can forget about it but more likely than not the beneficiary will remember for a long time. 

In Muktabai’s words :

तरीच अंगी थोरपण ।
जया नाही अभिमान ॥

He is a person of true greatness who has no false pride.

Meerabai puts it as Karam ki gati Nayari ! Strange are the ways of karma.

One who thinks he is great, is not great. One who thinks he has no ego or does not see the ego, has the biggest ego. 

Ego is this phantom identity that accumulates in our psyche and takes us through much of an emotional circus in the course of life. Our idea of hierarchy in society is built on the premise of this ego. If we consciously reconstruct the hierarchy aligning it with the teachings of the saints we can actually enjoy a bigger universe. 

There is an ordinary way and there is a superior way to think and live life. If we have a choice why choose the lesser option? 

Saree is a pure Vidarbha tussar with Dabu print.