To Mom With Love!

 

( This post was written on October 21st but got posted here past midnight hence dated October 22nd)

Today hubby wasn’t the only one who threw a tantrum. His team mate, my mom, too acted out after we returned home from the outing. To think of it , it is pretty funny how they both created drama today. I have a feeling their pent up emotions after spending four months without me are surfacing now. 

Here’s how it unfolded. I was putting away my saree when she came to my bedroom with the latest coupon booklet from Costco warehouse. The air fryer is on sale ,I want it, she declared. Truth be told, our kitchen is in such mess currently with all the things that are accumulated from all these years that I am seriously contemplating on giving away things rather than adding new ones. In my absence mom had already ordered a mini food processor even though we already have gadgets to do the job. Things are just duplicating and crowding on the kitchen counter. All I did was opened my mouth to say don’t hurry to buy this, let me study the options and find a model that takes up the least space on the counter. 

Boy!! She threw that pamphlet on the table beside me and angrily walked out of the room disgruntled and muttering that she had no say in anything. I was too stunned for a few minutes. What was that ? Even my kids never acted out like that when I denied them a toy or something. 

After gathering myself some I went back to talk to her. She wouldn’t look up at me as I spoke to her. After much prodding she said “ it was my mistake that I asked you. I should have known that you will not approve anything “.  Are you saying you don’t get what you want in this home ? She asserted she gets nothing. I was getting worried with her responses. I asked her directly, are you unhappy in this home? She burst out crying. Yes I am quite unhappy. Not a single person in this world loves me. I have no money of my own.( which is not true, she does). I was getting more and more worried as she made all the claims. Would you prefer to stay with ( my sister)?  No, there is no place I can be happy. I am all alone in this world!!  I said why do you think like this? I know for a fact that both your daughters and all your grandchildren love you. And as much as I am not used to making a display of affection I can assure you that if you need care I will be the one you can depend on more than anyone else in the family. No one will do the running around for you like I would. You can’t draw conclusions that they don’t love you based on such and such criteria like they don’t call you or ask you how was your day etc. Each one’s way of expressing love is different. You can’t fit each one in a certain frame that your mind decides. Besides why should you even be bothered to think who loves you and who doesn’t? Why should your happiness depend on factors that you can’t control? She stayed quiet. Like putting sense into a small kid I was explaining to her. Reminding her of every wish of hers I had tried to fulfil. This most recent wish for the air fryer too she was free to get one if she wants but the particular model that’s on sale appears too bulky and space occupying. All I am trying to say is let’s research a bit and get one that takes up less space. Why did you have to walk away like that when I tried to say this ? Why do you have to misunderstand everything I say ? She still didn’t seem convinced. I didn’t know what more to say. 

I just retreated back to my room worried for her. Worried that she is unhappy and feels unloved. That’s the last thing I would want for her. I sat there and wrote down a message for her in desperation. And sent it to her on WhatsApp 😄. This is the irony of today’s times. You live under the same roof and can’t have a meaningful conversation without WhatsApp !! Hail WhatsApp!! 

Anyways. This is the message I wrote. 

प्रिय आईस,

सप्रेम नमस्कार.

एक मनोगत तुझ्यासाठी:

Dear Mom,

Loving respects to you.

A heartfelt message for you from me.

Tuza ahe tuj pashi

( What is yours is with you!) 

जरा वळुनी पहा एकदा मागे

किती दूर घेउनी आली वाट तुज इथे

Turn back for a moment and look 

How far your road has brought you till here.

आठ दशके आणि अर्धे

ऊन सावली पाऊस वारे

सोशिलेस सगळे तरीही उभी

तू सशक्त कणखर तशीच आजही

For eight decades and a half

You have weathered intense sun, shade, rain and wind.

And despite everything you stand resilient and full of energy even today.

ह्या वाटेचे जे जे सोबती

एकेकाची दिशा वेगळी

मातपिता बंधु पुत्र पती

गेले सगळे आपापल्या पंथी

Your companions in this journey

Each had their own path and direction.

You parents, brother, son and husband 

Each went on their destinations.

जे उरले मागे तुझेच असती

तरी दिशा तयांच्या भिन्न धावती

Those who are left behind are also your own.

Yet each of them has their own path and direction to follow.

सुख संतोष ऐश्वर्य अन् प्रीती

सर्व तुझे तुझ्याच पाशी

ते धरोनी घट्ट घेई उराशी

श्री छत्रा खाली लेक भिकारी कशी ?

Happiness, contentment, wealth and love

Everything is yours and with you.

Hold on to these close to your heart.

Under the shelter of God how can his daughter be a beggar or homeless?

समज गैर तो कायमचा काढावा

सत्याचा आठव सदैव ठेवावा

All misunderstandings are best to discard permanently. 

And always hold the remembrance of reality in the consciousness.

जो क्रुपावंत त्रैलोक्याचा राणा

एकटाच समर्थ सोबतीस आपणा

जितका तो माझा तितकाच तुझाही

हे त्रिवार सत्य तू बांध मनाशी

The merciful King of the Three Worlds

Is Alone capable of being our companion.

Just as much as HE is mine, HE is your companion too. 

This eternal truth you should never let slip from the mind.

मन फसवे सोंगाडे अपराधी

भरवसा न त्याचा करावा कधी

कल्पनांच्या पलिकडे डोकाव कधीतरी

तिथे कायम हसरा दिसे श्रीहरी

Mind is a cheat, an imposter, a criminal.

Never put trust in your mind.

Take a moment to look beyond all imaginations 

You will find Shri Hari always smiling in that domain.

Surprisingly what I couldn’t get through to her in person, WhatsApp could do 😄

She replied :

प्रिय चि . सौ .नीता तुझी ही कविता व तुझं लेखन मनाला खूप खूप भावल .माझ खूप चुकल .माफ कर .

तूझ्यासांगण्यानुसार वागण्याचा मी मनापासून नक्की प्रयत्न करीनच .

क्षमस्व .

God Bless You !!

Dear Nita( my parents gave me that name at home)

I appreciate your poem and writing very much. I was very wrong. Forgive me.

I will try sincerely to do as you say. 

Forgive me. God bless you!!

Not sure whether to say Hail Krishna or Hail WhatsApp ? May be both 😂🙏🏼🙏🏼

I survived today for sure from being air dried and fried simultaneously 😅

P.S I do not mean disrespect towards my mom. It is challenging to care for parents as they get old. They sometimes regress in thinking and almost become like kids. I don’t know how I managed to let her put aside her grievances today. Krishna came to my rescue. 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Saree is a shades bandhani in pink on chanderi silk. Photo taken on October 14th at Shafer Vineyards in Napa. The Cabernet grapes were the sweetest I ever had until now.