Tumhe Dillagi: Part 7

 

Tumhen dil lagi bhool jani padegi

Part 7

It isn’t over until it’s over! 

Agar'chey kisi baat per woh khafa hain 

To acha yehi hai tum apni sahi karlo 

Woh maaney na-maaney yeh marzi hai unki

Magar unko ′PURNAM' manaa kar to dekho

( please start with part 1. This is part 7.) 

Agar'chey = even though

kisi = some

baat = issue, matter

per = over

woh= he/ she/they

khafa = displeased, upset

hain= is, are

To = then

acha = better

yehi = this

hai= is

tum = you

apni= own

sahi = right, true

karlo= do Woh = he/ she/ they

maaney = agree

na-maaney = disagree

yeh =this

 Marzi = choice, preference 

hai = is

unki= theirs/ his/ hers Magar = however, but

unko= to them

′PURNAM'= whole heartedly, with all sincerity

Manaa kar to dekho= try to win over or convince

The song started out emphasizing the stark difference between infatuation and love. Unlike infatuation, love demands deep commitment. With commitment comes suffering and only those who are willing for sacrifice are fit for the challenge of love. 

Having verified the qualifications for pursuing true love the poet walks us through the stages of intimacy that begins with modesty, awkwardness, and then surrender of space. Once the honeymoon phase is over comes the rough patch of handling life’s problems, often at the expense of the caring partner. Through forbearance, the relationship can stretch for a while until it hangs on to a thin thread that calls for a moment of insight and reflection on priorities. This is the make or break phase for the relationship where either both partners revisit their commitment, recognize and admit their mistakes and either prepare to make necessary adjustments and corrections to stay together, or if unwilling to make repairs they opt to part ways.

A very subtle yet important point to consider is the guarding of freedom of each partner in the relationship at every stage despite the shared space. 

There is commitment in love but not imprisonment. Each person stays in the relationship with their free will. 

The poet comes a full circle in the last verse to conclude that,after all the highs and lows in the life together, if his beloved is unable to forgive any mistake on his part or disapproves of something he does, then it is best to let each decide their own path. 

However, before calling it quits he reminds himself of the initial commitment he made before entering the relationship of love, and that was to give it his all. And that’s what he would do now. Everything in his capacity to pacify his partner and cajole her to reconsider the situation and iron out the differences while leaving the door open for her if his last attempts fail. Humility and commitment take precedence and priority over his own pride and hurt. He is allowing the other person to leave if she chooses that option while remaining flexible at his end to make positive changes to make the relationship work.

In spiritual context too human mind is difficult and extremely challenging to please all the time. God remains a patient witness and allows all indiscretions with full understanding of how stressful ground realities are. But time and again HE gives an insight to the person that it is only out of pure love that these wrongdoings are overlooked. The world will not show the same forgiveness for such behaviors. A wise person would take the message and make an effort to change and keep walking in the path of devotion and remain loyal to God. His free will decides his fate. God holds no one prisoner. Yet God never gives up on anyone. HE tries to show the way where there is least damage and lasting happiness. 

Despite all the highs and lows in the life of the saints like Meerabai or Sant Tukaram, history never said that they called off their relationship with God. Love prevailed and how !! 

Tukaram Maharaj’s words sum up the story precisely.

Haachi nem aataa na phire maaghaari 

Baisale shejari Govindache 

There is no turning back from here. I am seated next to my God Govinda for good. 

An oft misunderstood verse from the Bhagwad Gita quotes Shri Krishna as saying “ very few realize the self”

Chapter 7, verse 3:

मनुष्याणां सहस्रेषु कश्चिद्यतति सिद्धये ।
यततामपि सिद्धानां कश्चिन्मां वेत्ति तत्त्वत: ॥ 3॥

What is implied here is the fact that majority of minds tend to pursue objectives that are tangible and therefore recognized in the world outside. Very few feel interested or inclined to find their real self, which is not the conditioned personality that they know themselves to be. Those few ones stand a chance to reach their pure self. Theoretically every individual stands a chance to find it because they have it in them. But if you have no inclination to find it, there is a wide gap between the theoretical and practical probabilities of reaching that destination. The rules that apply in the physical world apply in the spiritual realm as well. Efforts are needed to achieve results. Results arrive based on where, how and to what extent you applied your efforts. Methods may differ but principles remain same. 

To compare similar teachings from the biblical texts, Galatians chapter 6 verses 7-9 are as follows:

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

For he For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

So coming back to our concluding verse from the qawwali Tumhe Dillagi,

the poet is suggesting that he will never give up his faith in love as long as he lives. He will put in his full efforts at every step to be a better version of himself, acknowledging and correcting his mistakes and showing willingness to forgive others for theirs to make the relationship thrive on the power of love.

In the context of spiritual relationship between a human and the divine self, the former is fraught with imperfections and latter is perfection personified. The journey within is about closing the gap between the two. To a true aspirant it is the only journey that matters. Whether in the expression of his individual identity or recognition of the diverse other identities around him, the more he begins to see the divine play, the more unperturbed he begins to feel from within as he sails over the ups and downs of life. The experiences coming his way while in the physical body, he learns to participate in the most natural way possible from moment to moment, and maintains the same casual attitude towards his own death. The ocean( universe), the boat( life journey), the sailor( physical person) and the eventual scene of the boat and its sailor being swallowed by the waters of the ocean are all part of the script he has understood and accepted. And in the acceptance he has known peace, love and his real self. Another boat with another sailor he comes into contact with doesn’t intimidate him or compel him to change his course. He continues rowing his own boat at his own pace and trying his best to not collide with the other boats, obstructing them, or expecting them to accompany or follow him. At most cautioning them to avoid the whirlpools or other dangers he knows about. Friendly greetings to them when they cross paths and he keeps rowing onward. His relationship is with the ocean. All heart to heart conversations, emotional expressions are with the ocean. The ocean is alive for him and understands him like no one else can. He lives and sinks into it. Without regret. Without a trace. 

Saree is a color block pure Chhattisgarh tussar. Paired with printed Mashru silk blouse.