Taatiche Abhang: Abhang 2-3

 

 Taatiche Abhang 

Abhang 2-3

Part 3

शब्द शस्त्रं झालें क्लेश । संती मानावा उपदेश ॥३॥

Shabd shastra zaale klesh II

Santi maanaavaa upadesh II3II

Shabd= word(s)

Shastra= weapons

Zaale= became, caused 

Klesh= problems, discomfort, troubles

Santi = saints

Maanaavaa= accept (as), consider as

Upadesh= advice, counsel 

शब्द शस्त्रं झालें क्लेश ।

Discussion:

Phool ahista phenko 

Phool bade naajuk hote hain

Throw flowers gently for they are fragile.

Words share many qualities of flowers.

Like flowers ,

 Words are fragrant.

Words are beautiful.

Words are colorful.

Words are precious. 

Words are delicate.

I remember an old song by the Marathi poet Mangesh Padgaonkar recorded in the sweet voice of Suman tai Kalyanpur. 

Shabd shabd japun thev 

bakuli chya fula pari….

Please place every word gently like the delicate bakuli flowers.

If anyone has seen bakuli flowers they would know how carefully one has to lift them from the ground and handle them. Just a light pinch of thumb and index finger is enough. Any rough handling would crush the flower.

How many of us look at words the same way ?

Yes ,like flowers, words too must be handled gently. The equation is however somewhat different here. 

Flowers can get hurt, but they don’t hurt others. 

Words don’t get hurt. But they can cause hurt to others.

Words are one of many intangible things that can heal or hurt depending on how and when they are used.

 A word by itself is inert. 

Meaningless without a context.

One minute it can be a useful tool. Another moment it can be a deadly weapon.

Like a knife can remove a cancerous growth when used by a skilled surgeon or slash the neck if wielded by a lunatic.

We need to use words just as gently as we would use a flower. But even more important that we use our words as cautiously as we would use a knife. 

Not many people think before they utter words. 

Not many people listen before they open their mouth.

And they don’t realize that listening is not same as hearing. 

Once during a meeting at the hospital, our medical director snapped at an assistant who spoke before he had finished speaking. Keep your ears open before you open your mouth, he told her. I would add to myself, keep your eyes and mind open as well before you open your mouth. More than half the miseries of the world would be eliminated if people kept their minds, eyes and ears open before saying a word. 

More often than not, words are used recklessly. The full picture is not taken into consideration. And therefore due to being ill informed or ill timed or both, they cause hurt. 

It is a violent world but not all violence is physical. Much more frequent than physical violence is the occurrence of emotional and verbal abuse and violence. And here the wounds are not seen. 

As the poet B.R.Tambe put it, p

कळा ज्या लागल्या जीवा, मला की ईश्वरा ठाव्या !

कुणाला काय हो त्याचे ? कुणाला काय सांगाव्या ?

kalaa jyaa laagalyaa jeeva, 

malaa ki Ishwaraa thaavyaa

Kunaalaa kaay ho tyaanche 

Kunaalaa kaay saangaavyaa

( The pain I felt in my heart, only I know and God knows. Who else would care and who would I share it with ?)

Words are those weapons that go straight to the heart and the heart bleeds worse than if pierced by an arrow. It bleeds for a long time and no one can see it or stop it. 

उरी या हात ठेवोनी, उरींचा शूल का जाई ?

समुद्री चौकडे पाणी, पिण्याला थेंबही नाही

Uri yaa haat thevoni 

Uri chaa shool kaa jaayi

Holding your hand on the heart cant stop the piercing pain caused by hurtful words.

जनांच्या कोरड्या गप्पा, असे सारे जगद्बंधू !

हमामा गर्जनेचा हो, न नेत्री एकही बिंदू

Janaanchyaa koradyaa gappaa 

Asey saare Jagad bandhu 

Hamaamaa garjanechaa ho

Na netri eka hi bindu 

All talk of the people is dry( without true emotion), and yet they claim to be brethren.

There is a lot of commotion with tall proclamation but not a teardrop in the eye.

At another place Mangesh Padgaonkar writes:

हाती धनुष्य ज्याच्या त्याला कसे कळावे ?
हृदयात बाण ज्याच्या त्यालाच दुःख ठावे !

Haati dhanushya jyaachyaa 

Tyaalaa kase kalaave?

Hridayaat baan jyaachyaa 

Tyaalach dukkha thaave.

One who wields the bow, how would he know ?

Only the person whose heart was pierced by the arrow knows the pain.

Indeed words are like arrows. Once you pull the string of the bow those arrows can’t be recalled. 

Hence there must be thought before speech. There needs to be compassion and consideration for others before speaking. 

Politeness costs little but yields much. But how many people have patience to see the returns? 

Words must be weighed not counted. More often they are neither weighed nor counted.

Pen/ tongue is mightier than the sword but one must know when to use might. 

 There are popular sayings in Marathi:

Jeebhelaa haad nahi ( tongue has no bone) ( refers to a person not having discretion, filter, something to hold it from spilling nonsense). 

Or jeebhelaa lagaam laav ( rein in your tongue). 

Tukaram Maharaj declared famously,

Aamhaa ghari dhan shabdaanchich ratne 

Shabdaanchich shastre yatne karu!

In my home, the only wealth there is, is gems in the form of words.

And the only weapons with me are also words.

But here he didn’t mean to use the weapons to hurt others. He said he would use the words for efforts(yatne). What kind of efforts ? To fight the evils in society. To banish ignorance and establish a culture of devotion, compassion and equality.

But only a man of the caliber of Tukaram Maharaj could use words as a weapon for such noble purpose, a noble fight. In most other cases words are used as weapons to needlessly hurt the feelings of others. To insult and humiliate others. To show dominance over them, intimidate them. They are tools of warfare to vent jealousy, low self esteem and ill feelings towards others.

Muktabai acknowledges in this third line,

 शब्द शस्त्रं झालें क्लेश ।

Great suffering is brought upon when words become weapons! When a war of words ensues! 

But how should a saint combat this onslaught?

संती मानावा उपदेश ॥३॥

 If you wrestle with a pig, irrespective of who wins,you will end up getting the dirt on yourself. Of course a saint cannot stoop to the low level of such a person who has a foul mouth. A saint cannot think of retaliation.

Neither is the other person likely to be amenable for transformation anytime soon. 

So what is the solution?

There is an old saying in Marathi:

Nindakaache ghar asaave shejari! 

One must have a critic as a neighbor!

On similar lines,in English there is a saying, one must learn to build a home with the bricks that people throw at you. 

Santi maanaavaa upadesh !

Whatever unreasonable talk people direct at you, take it as a solemn teaching. 

Upadesh! Advice! Lesson! Teaching! Discourse! 

One may ask, what is there to learn from hurtful words?

When such words are hurled at you, you certainly learn firsthand how much such speech hurts. How hard it is for a sensitive soul to overcome that hurt. How the person who hurls the abuses is clueless about the damage he/she causes. 

It is a precious lesson. Because now you are in a position to understand how someone would feel if you uttered such words. 

You would be wise to have empathy for others.

You would know the difference between healing and hurtful words. 

You are sure to become a better person.

And who taught you to be a better person?

That fool who thought his words would demoralize you!! 

Let him remain in his miserable world of ignorance if he refuses to grow and learn.

 But you show him gratitude for that free lesson he gave you which is priceless!! 

Indeed in the school of life we can learn even from enemies. And be grateful to them for these.

 

In the preceding verse it was pointed out how anger is detrimental and why one should not get engulfed by it. Now, a tool is offered to withstand anger and the harsh language that accompanies it. The tool is to not take offense to the hurtful words, instead accept them as a learning opportunity.

To recapitulate here….this wisdom is coming from a nine year old girl who never went to school and who is most earnestly and endearingly sharing this innate wisdom with her older brother who went on to become Dnyaaniyaancha Raja….the King amongst the people of knowledge!! Dnyaaneshwar or the Lord of Knowledge!

Qualities:

Using words very carefully 

Grasping the complete picture as much as possible before saying anything 

Being tolerant of criticism 

Refraining from retaliation 

Taking words positively 

Learning even from critics/ criticism 

Humility