Noise
Noise:
My pictures on the road often bring questions about how the street is empty? Yes, it is a quiet neighborhood and not much traffic for most of the day. No honking for sure. In contrast when I first moved from India our apartment in Chicago was on the 13th floor of a high rise building that stood by a busy freeway leading out of downtown. The constant buzz of traffic flowing through it would rattle our guests. But for us it was a familiar hum that was taken for granted and caused no problem going to bed at night or carrying on a conversation during the day. When in India the scene escalates to an entirely different level. It bothers for a few days. Then you get used to even that commotion.
In recent days, amongst other topics that occupied the mind, one was regarding noise. In the process of search for the self it occurred to me how much goes on every moment in life. There is a constant bustle, both inside and outside. And neither of these can be effectively silenced.
I thought of the Buddha. He is always depicted in a tranquil pose. Can a person who is managing a job and a household remain in a perpetual state of tranquility like the Buddha? Is it even possible?
There is always noise. Whether audible or not. From the moment I wake up at 3:45 am till the time I go to bed around 9:30 pm there is a noise in the head, if not accompanied by noise outside. The habitual prayers karagre vasate Lakshmi and Samudravasane Devi before stepping the foot on the ground herald the sound machine that will operate for rest of the day. Whether out of real necessity to stay connected for legitimate business in India or not, it has now become a habit upon waking to check WhatsApp messages from India that came while I was asleep. Even as I am writing this there is a message from the person looking after the property in Khopoli. WhatsApp conversations resume even before I begin to brush my teeth.
Bramha muhurta is said to be most auspicious and beneficial for spiritual growth and that’s the reason I have for years been getting up so early. And to a large extent it is true that there is a certain peacefulness and divine presence felt in that hour. Yet in the real sense it is not devoid of sound and conversations. That hour when the rest of the world around here sleeps the skies are lit up with stars and planets. It is my only chance to catch a glimpse and offer humble salute to our solar system elders before the daylight washes them out of sight. It is a rejuvenating interaction yet can’t say that there is true silence because I am talking to them. If the mind deviates from this inner talk, it takes note of the hissing of the neighbor’s sprinklers and an occasional distant rooster’s call or a dog’s bark. Then of course the prayers, meditation and yoga exercises indoors that follow. All this while the time keeper inside is nudging that it is getting late to shower. Once I am ready and about to leave the room Abhay peeks out of his sheet covers to remind me to pack fruit with my lunch box. And so I make sure everything is packed before driving out of the garage. If it is this time of the year( summer) there is a bit of a juggle trying to match the drive with the exact moment the sun peeks from behind the mountains. A few minutes early or later makes me miss the front row view of the most glorious event of the day. And the mind is bickering about it. As sunrise schedule moves later and later, there is no chance of timing the drive with sunrise. I am alone. Or am I ? ….no not really. There is always MS( Subbulakshmi) soulfully rendering the stotrams during the drive. And the deities in the stotrams of course to strike a conversation with.
More often than not the security officer arrives the same time when I drive into the parking lot. “Good morning doctor” she unfailingly greets, and my smile widens as I nod back mouthing a good morning to her. I don’t see her for most of the day as I get busy with my work and she with hers. Even as I run the tap ,get my tea bag into the mug and hear the buzz of microwave, then set out to wipe down the desk, keyboard, chair and other things in the office before logging into the computer, the mind is picking up a chatter. The computer is on and an avalanche of dialogue comes down. Every single message, lab report, refill request that arrived since the time I left office the previous day begins to strike a conversation inside the brain.
Just as I have managed to get a handle over it and earned a bit of quietude, staff members begin to trickle in and greet as they pass by my door. The first patient of the day shows “arrived” on my screen and the professional within tightens up the buckle and prepares for the roller coaster. Nearly two dozen face to face encounters and more than twice as many online interactions continue for rest of the day until it is time to leave for home. The short breaks for tea and lunch are much welcome to disperse the heat of the job and afford a relative silence. MS is ever ready to soothe again once I’m behind the wheel. The second half of Vishnu Sahasranaam or Hanuman Chalisa gives company right up to the garage. Just as the ignition is turned off, the menial laborers inside the brain are gearing into action. Without wasting a moment after entering the home, the day’s lunch box begins to get a swift rinse in the wash basin. The laundry hamper sounds off as it receives the day’s work clothes and the chef emerges in clean home attire to start preparing dinner. The cleaner is working hand in hand putting away used utensils and pots, wiping the counters. Their business communication is continually going on inside the brain. Outside of that, mom and Abhay are giving updates about what they did while I was gone. If my cooking coincides with Abhay’s evening news schedule some words about the political circus, hurricanes and mass shootings fall inadvertently on the ears. Otherwise it’s a lucky day to resume a more pleasant conversation while reading a book on the saints or catching up with writing. Every other day or so the kids are on video chat and friends around the globe interacting on WhatsApp or text messages. The conversations, inside and outside, only stop once the lights are turned off and I pull the sheet over my head. Sometimes a few conversations happen even in the dreams.
Coming back to the issue, there seems no possibility that noise can cease. If there is a life of social obligation, noise is inevitable. Yet a miraculous thing happened today that I have shared in the last post. The awareness folded the noise within itself so effortlessly that the noise wasn’t bothersome anymore. Just like the hum of the traffic outside the apartment in Chicago. What’s even more fascinating is that it was surrounded by silence on all sides. Indeed it was quite a phenomenon to observe where noise and silence coexisted and made a harmonious symphony.
It is a matter of getting used to this harmony now.
Saree is a ponduru khadi with checks on the green body.
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