Sari Conversations: Windows to Wisdom

 

Follow up thoughts from the post about sari:

The reason I was inspired to write about the attitudes towards sarees and its variations was a repetitive tendency of elitist to harshly condemn what they think are poor choices in matters of textiles. I think at the root of my protest yesterday was choice of words people use when they dismiss something. Even when they are dismissing an object and not a person it hurts the other person because it directly or indirectly condemns the choice they made with regards to the object. Behind any choice there  is a person who we fail to see. And if we dont even see, how would we understand? 

In those situations the person who is passing the judgement of good or bad choice is blind to the idea of the circumstances of the other person. The net effect of such reckless criticisms is widening the divide between people. The message we unknowingly send is that I don’t recognize you and dont care to understand you. 

 During my interaction with the group administrator on that post yesterday, she mentioned that “ we have an unsaid heirarchy” in the sense “ we are ok with this, not ok with this”. This is indeed true.

There is a hierarchy in the world in practically everything. Amongst objects as well as people. In context of people, this hierarchy may be with respect to wealth and possessions, knowledge, experience, and wisdom , power, beauty, age, manners and many such things. Amongst objects the hierarchy may stem from size, quality, abundance or rarity, durability, aesthetics, cost etc. These hierarchies while enhancing diversity, also intrinsically tend to divide us. And divisions sooner or later lead to woes.

 The art of bridging such divides even in the midst of hierarchies lies in earnest efforts to understand the other person. Seeking commonality. Where there is no desire to understand there can’t be closure of gaps. On the other hand, where there is desire to understand the other person the unexpected reward is that we gain a better understanding of ourselves and the barriers within us. 

I have realized that it is safer to use mild language even when referring to objects because objects are connected to people. Only when you are absolutely sure of the purpose of strong words and they are used to disarm a dangerous person or situation, such words make sense. Otherwise they simply reflect our arrogance and ignorance. Even an otherwise most humble person may have a streak of arrogance and ignorance !! It is always best when we recognize these in ourselves. 

A simple weave from the state of Odisha, a Jagatsingpur saree. It seems to saying “ I am beautiful too. Look at me. Appreciate me. I can’t boast being Handloom. I dont count as exclusive. Yet I still belong to the family of sarees. Can you show me love? “