Awachita Parimalu: Spring Time Musings

 


It is that time of the year when spring comes with its magical touch and wakes up the trees that had been snoozing through the winter. And their romance ensues, quietly at first, and then with a splash. A few weeks back I was showering early in the morning, much before dawn, when a familiar fragrance infused with the vapors of the hot water and took me by surprise. It was still dark outside and I couldn’t get a view from the window. But the fragrance needed no validation about its source. The sweet heavenly perfume was unmistakably coming from the citrus trees outside the window. Lemons, oranges and grapefruit….their nectar blending into a single divine scent. 


That day I simply reveled in the olfactory wonder for a few minutes, one sniff at a time. Soon wisdom whispered, cautioning against indulging to the point where I forget that duties are waiting to be fulfilled. Another reminder that duties take priority over enjoyment. And so I closed the window, wrapped up the showering ritual and got ready to go to work. 

A few days later I stepped into the backyard in the evening after work and sure enough there was a visual treat waiting. The trees were laden with the blossoms and were bustling with visitors in the form of bees. The breeze and rain showers had been playing with the trees and their mischief was evident in the white petals sprinkled over the grass under the trees. The skies were still sprinkling a drizzle over me as I walked around soaking in that annual wondrous sight for a while before returning inside the home. 

This morning again I was in the shower, this time a bit later, when it was daylight outside but the sun was not yet out. The tall branches of the lemon tree were seen towering  against the blue sky and a few yellow and green lemons proudly showed off from them. Initially they stood still telling me the breeze was resting temporarily. But not for long. In an instant the branches began to sway in a gentle dance and within seconds that previous divine olfactory magical experience had made its way through my nostrils into the brain. 

In Marathi the त्रिपुटी Triputi, or trio, of bhogya, bhog and bhokta,( experienced, experience and experiencer ) were in perfect harmony and unison. Bramhan or the ultimate Divine entity had by its magical Maya created the citrus fragrance as well as the human sensory organs to facilitate the experience for Itself!! If I as a jeeva show audacity to appropriate the ownership of the sense organs to myself, then the divine was experiencing its charming creation of the fragrance through me. It was feeling its own presence via the experience and I was witnessing it because It had given me the powers to feel and know. The meaning of Sohum, I am because You are, was alive before me in that moment. In that moment perhaps God too acknowledged that He is God because I as a jeeva am there. The difference between us is that at some point I may cease to be but He/It will never cease to be. I am just a transient entity through which He can get experience of His own finery. No need for me to gloat because he can create infinite numbers of similar creatures like me to achieve that feat. I was just one of the fortunate ones to live in that moment with Him. And I was fully aware of that beautiful experience because my mind was not distracted or occupied by other tasks like is the case during most of the day. 

Another fanciful thought that occurred in those moments was that I imagined a hypothetical scenario after my death when I would have a subtle body but not a physical one. What would I care to experience in that state? Would I care for gross objects or places or people like I do in the present state? The answer was evident right there !! No!! Everything seemed much too crude in comparison with the subtle experiences such as the fragrance I was sensing,or the pure essence of love and kindness I have experienced from time to time, or the beauty in gratitude that is known without the aid of words, or the subtle essence derived from fine poetry or a piece of music. If that’s what I would prefer to experience in the subtle existence then why do I bother for anything different now ? The subtle things are here to experience even now!! 

The next logical thought that came was, do I need to experience those subtle things to be aware of my own existence? Will it be a meaningful existence without experiencing anything or anyone other than the self? Finding divine presence is called Parmarth which literally means The Highest Meaning or Supreme Meaning or Meaningfulness. Does that imply that Brahman or the Divine Self needs no props from the world of duality to have a meaningful existence? This jeeva has yet to find the answer to those questions. But as a jeeva I realize that any sense of meaning or meaningfulness that I get to experience comes from that single indivisible Divine Presence that the Vedas refer to as Brahman. By indirect conclusion it may be safe to believe that if it comes from Brahman then Brahman must inherently have it. A direct experience standing in the shoes of Brahman will be the only way to know decisively. Until then, standing in the shoes of HIS devotee is good enough! 

The fragrance kept drifting in intervals. Now it can be sensed, the next moment after exhaling, it’s gone. Kept trying to feel it with next few inhalations and it wasn’t there. I realized how the extremely pleasant experience was working on creating desire within me, a pre-stage for addiction. When I let go the desire consciously, there that perfume would come out of nowhere and tantalize my senses again. I had learned another lesson. To not chase the experience. It is like a butterfly. If you stand still, it will alight upon you when you least expect. I guess the answers to my earlier questions is in that stillness that exists between two moments of sensory stimulation. When that stillness indulges in experiencing, it creates an illusion of a second person which is the jeeva, someone to talk to, someone to share that experience with. Like standing in front of a mirror and talking to itself. 










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