Saw a patient today who was here for evaluation of ankle swelling. When I entered into the room I noticed the patient was in a special wheelchair. Mom was sitting on the examination table where normally patients would sit. Patient made eye contact with me when I greeted him. But didn’t show much emotion. I acknowledged him and turned to mom for communication. His left foot was looking red and a bit more swollen than usual, she said. It had felt warm for last 2 days and he would indicate he was in pain when she touched the foot. I attended to the problem, ordered some tests and medication and arranged for a follow up in a few days.
He was the last patient I would be seeing this morning before lunchtime. Once I completed his note and settled down in my office with my salad to munch on, my mind was still thinking about this young man. He was 35 and born with a disability. He had cerebral palsy and quadriplegia, which meant he couldn’t use any of his arms or legs. He couldn’t eat by himself or stand or walk. If that wasn’t enough, he also had a seizure disorder and a tube placed in the stomach for receiving feeds. Obviously an attendant would be needed to clean him up after urinating or emptying the bowels.
My mind was really not thinking as much of him but more of his mom. She was 56 years of age. Calm, poised, tender, kind and caring. For 35 years she had been caring for her baby. That deep devotion to the now-adult-child was a thing to be simply experienced by getting into her shoes, into her brain. And believe it or not , for a moment I did just that. That spontaneous and short lived moment I was able to set aside myself and feel through her being. What I experienced cannot be expressed in words. All I can say is, that kind of infinite unconditional love towards another human being who can never ever reciprocate or reward in any way, is absolutely rare in this world. It probably even surpasses the love of the highest order devotee towards God or the love of God towards a devotee because in those relationships there is still a give and take. Here there was just giving. Giving with both hands, giving with joy. It makes sense now why God gets tempted from time to time to be incarnated, to be born from a mother’s womb. What a mother is capable of doing, no saint or devotee can do.
The raw beauty of God’s creations is that the most special things are not aware of how special they are. Someone else gets the privilege to see that beauty. Such was this mother I saw today. I was the lucky one to see her. My mind having momentarily tasted the exquisite love in her heart couldn’t help but pray to God to grant me at least a fraction of such unconditional love towards HIM, the Almighty Himself, where I would not be in the least way dependent on him for anything, if such a thing was even possible. Here my breath, my heartbeat, my very existence is dependent on my creator. If I can even fantasize harboring unconditional love for Him, it would be a great fortune.
This mother I saw today was God herself. I am not sure I would consider the young man in the wheelchair as unfortunate. God was experiencing love through him. And I was just blessed today to get a minuscule taste of it.
Saree is a cotton silk chanderi with Bagru print. Other photos in same saree but with a vest on. It’s been cold in the mornings in Tehachapi lately. On one of the days during my stay here I walked before sunrise to the local bakery. The hot poblano pepper soup was ready and I happily sipped it with the fresh bread. Then walked to my office as daylight was breaking. Two trains whistled to each other as they crossed paths in opposite directions. The trees lining the roadside stood in their autumnal glory. Roadside flowers swayed happily in the light breeze. The morning sun’s warm caress felt good.
Comments
Post a Comment