Life : I think I know you now!

 Just watched Satyajit Ray’s Apur Sansar.

I had tears rolling down my cheeks for most of the movie.

Not because of what I was watching on the screen.

But because what the movie did to me. 

It made my entire life roll in front of me. 

I cried remembering every person who came in my life. 

My father.

My mother.

My brother.

My sister.

My grandmothers.

My friends. All of them. 

My teachers.

My husband.

My daughter.

My son. 

My daughter-in-law.

My uncles and my aunts.

My cousins. Their spouses. Their kids and grandkids.

My nieces and nephews. Their spouses and their kids.

My brother-in-law.

My family through my husband. Especially my mother-in-law who accepted me as a daughter. And my sisters-in-law who embraced me as their sister.

My family through my daughter-in-law 

My professional colleagues 

My patients

Everyone.

The personal storyline was irrelevant. Mere details.

I cried because I realized that it has been a life of love. I have loved each of them. I have been loved by each of them. Every face in the story was relevant. Their imperfections were not.

Love may not have found a way to express at every turn.

Love may not have found perfect words at every point.

Love may not have been recognized at every step.

Love may not have been granted enough time with every person.

But there was no moment when Love wasn’t standing by the side. 

Even for those who were thrown apart, love never parted.

Even when the heart was writhing in need of Love, Love was right there.

Love never went away.

Love was really what mattered. 

Love was what endured everything.

Love was what made the tears flow.

Love is what was waiting to be acknowledged all this time.

Love may have laughed at some point at my silliness to think that it could be lost. 

Love was what the entire life was worth for.

At the end of the movie, the heart was full.

There were a few words waiting to be said.

From Fullness we came

In Fullness we lived

In Fullness we shall return

I was going to correct the last sentence:

To Fullness we shall return.

But that’s doesn’t seem right.

In Fullness we lived.

In Fullness we shall return.

That seems about right.

Not quite.

In Fullness we lived.

In Fullness we shall disappear.

In Fullness we shall always be.

Fullness we will forever be.

Love and Fullness  are not two separate things.

That is the closest I can get to saying it.