The Dark Years: Part Two B

 #USA

Post#30 B

Aging parents:

Facing the storms:

Sometime after my brother’s passing away Baba decided he would move to the USA. My friend from residency Gyandev had newly bought a restaurant in Anaheim( Orange County/ Los Angeles) named Tandoor. He invited Baba to be the main chef. Baba was a general physician in India but for several decades pursued his culinary interests fervently. Once he made up his mind to leave India I applied for his green card. In due time I applied for the same for my Aai as well . They got their permanent resident status approved within 6 months of applying and 5 years later both became citizens of the USA. 

Baba had newly arrived here when  one day he suddenly started having excruciating pain in the lower abdomen. Turned out to be a stone in the bladder. He had no insurance at the time. We showed it to a local Indian urologist who had his private practice. He tried outpatient maneuvers to remove the stone but nothing worked. The stone moved over and blocked the bladder outlet. Now this turned into an emergency because no urine could come out and as a result pain escalated to unbearable degrees. What do I do now? In this country if one does not have health insurance and goes to the hospital for any reason the bills can run up anywhere from 50,000 to millions of dollars depending on what services you receive.

I had the option to buy insurance for my parents as my dependents through my work. For someone who was 65 or older and did not have Medicare ( the federal government insurance benefit given to citizens above age 65) private insurance rates were sky high. It would cost $1250 at the time per person per month. And even if someone was willing to pay that premium most insurance companies would not accept high risk patients in that age group unless they had Medicare. They carried too much financial liability for the insurance companies. To put my parents on insurance as my dependents I needed to get approval from the Medical Director. I spoke to my good director at the time. This was before 2006. He was very supportive and immediately approved insurance coverage for Baba under my company. $1250 per month started getting automatically deducted per month from my check since then but the peace of mind that it conferred in exchange was priceless.

Overnight Baba got covered under Kaiser insurance and got operated to remove the bladder stone. It was a big relief. I promptly  added coverage for my Aai also to avoid any stress in the future.

Both would go to India once or twice a year to visit their siblings. As time went by Aai was having increasing difficulty walking even short distances due to arthritis in her knees. Her primary physician had tried physical therapy and medication but these failed to improve her knee pain. An orthopedic surgeon evaluated her and recommended knee replacement for both sides as they had completely worn out. She was more than eager to get the surgery. First the left, then the right knee was replaced with a prosthetic joint. After each procedure she needed 2-3 times weekly sessions of physical therapy. I would take her there after work. For nearly 6 months after each surgery she continued the therapy and I was her driver.

Right when she was recovering from her second surgery she started having chest pain. EKG showed some changes so they did an angiogram. That was completely normal but a few months later she developed irregular heart rhythm (atrial fibrillation). That invited regular cardiologist visits,testing and procedures.

Her knee surgeries and heart issues were taken care of with no hassles. My early start time at work allowed me to take her to all her appointments later in the afternoon without taking time off.

2015 Baba was turning 75 in June and me 50 in July. I have my share of superstitions that are hard for me to shake off. I was totally against any celebration for Baba’s birthday because I feared his health may get buri nazar ( bad omen). I didn’t want my birthday celebrated because I didn’t think turning 50 was any achievement. But I was the only one with that opinion. Rest of the family went ahead and secretly planned a celebration 😀. To take me by surprise they planned it a good couple of weeks before my actual birthday. Most of my USA family, some family from India and all friends gathered for a big family celebration.

We did a road trip to Oregon and Washington at the end of July. I had planned this in advance to avoid birthday celebrations, parties and all fuss.  All was going well until we arrived for our stay in Bend, Oregon. Earlier that day we had enjoyed seeing the Lava Monument . About 8 pm Baba started having severe pain in his belly. Normally a person with high tolerance to pain, this time he was in obvious distress. We were 12 people traveling together. My family including my parents,my sister in law from India, her husband, her son, DIL, grandkids I told everyone else to stay back at the hotel and sleep while I took Baba to the nearest ER. I sat by his bed that entire night. I rang in my 50th birthday at the ER .Quite memorable it was 😀. 

They did a lot of tests and found he had a stomach ulcer that fortunately had not yet perforated. I asked him are you taking your acid reflux pills ? No. 🤦🏻‍♀️. He had stopped taking them for a few weeks for reasons known only to him. They put him back on the medicine and next morning we left the ER as if nothing happened overnight 😀. That same day we continued our trip ,visited Crater lake as per previous plans and by late afternoon carried on our way back to California.

Fast forward to January 2016. Baba had a 3-4 week visit to India. As he arrived at the  Dubai airport and walked to the next terminal for the connecting flight to Mumbai he felt uneasy in his chest. Once in India he went to a local physician in Khopoli who did an EKG. He told Baba to immediately get admitted to a hospital in Panvel. They did more tests at Panvel and told him he needs an angiogram urgently. Baba paid no heed to the recommendation and signed out of there. All this I didn’t know at the time.

When he was to return a couple of weeks later I said I will come to get you at Los Angeles airport. He told me a friend will be picking me up. He wants me to cook somethings for him and then he will drop me to Bakersfield in two days. Fine.

He returned accordingly 2 days later in the evening. Chatted casually. I was glad to have him back. Next morning I left for work early as usual . When I got back home in the late afternoon he casually brought the reports from India to show me . I looked at the reports and looked at him in disbelief. Told him to get into the car and drove to our urgent care. The doctor told us to admit him to the hospital right away. Next morning he was in the cath lab getting the angiogram. All his coronories were blocked . He was surviving on collateral circulation. He would need open heart surgery to put grafts at more than a couple places. 3 days later the quadruple bypass was done. He was home a few days later. 

He remained compliant with everything I said for 3 months. Then again insisted and went to India for a month to take care of things there. 

Upon return I had arranged for a driver to pick him at LAX airport. The driver called me from there to ask is it the man with crutches and cast on his leg ? I was again in for another unpleasant surprise. 

Despite me forbidding him to ride his motorcycle he had done exactly that in India. The bike accidentally fell on his foot when parking and he got a fracture. And he kept it a secret until he arrived home. There again we were doing rounds of the hospital. 

This time it went from bad to worse. His cast cut off supply of blood to his toes. The podiatrist and vascular surgeon tried everything in their capacity to salvage the foot. Hyperbaric oxygen treatments, medications,everything. Alas, the toes couldn’t be salvaged. The podiatrist( my colleague) did a fabulous job against all odds to amputate just the distal part of the foot ( only toes) leaving rest of the foot stump intact so with special shoes Baba could still walk on both feet. 

One would think now he would change and listen to me ! Wrong ! A few months later he went back to India and was riding his bike there again 😳

 I am continuing part C about his health woes although it is jumping a bit into the future from the story timeline. I will resume the main storyline in post 31.

Saree is a prized possession from Odisha. A very special Sambalpuri with jhoti chita motifs and Laxmi pada as well. A recent weekend in San Diego to meet Sheelatai and Jay. Pictures taken at Cabrillo Monument.