Two retirees sharing notes

 

The first patient I was seeing this morning was a man of African American descent who had come with concerns about his blood sugar. Last checked in February it was in the pre diabetic range. Lately he was experiencing shakiness after eating sweets which raised his concerns the levels may have worsened. He mentioned that his knees get sore when he tries to do extra walking. He had celebrated his 75th birthday just two days back and was motivated to get more active and do everything possible to remain healthy. I had to look at him again carefully. He surely looked much much younger than his age. The concerns about the symptoms were quite valid. I gave him some tips on diet and home exercises to improve the strength of his core muscles so walking would not put a strain on the knees. I ordered labs to check current status of his blood sugar. The visit was pretty much done at that point. 

I happened to casually ask him what he did for a living before he retired? He said he worked in a phone company for over forty years and retired ten years back. But he also worked on the sidelines as a substitute teacher in the local school district for nearly two decades. I was intrigued to know how he juggled these two professions that had seemingly no connection. Turns out his original work was as a school teacher but he had shifted to the phone company because it paid better. It was mostly night duty. A few years after switching there were issues at home about his son not paying attention in the classroom. Rather than simply go supervise from a back bench the father decided to do the job and get paid for it. So he began teaching during daytime while continuing the night job with the phone company. I found it truly inspiring. He told me how he continues to meet people whose lives he touched during the years he taught at school. It was mostly high school students he had preferred because he found junior high school students were more unruly. 

Since he seemed to be quite fit even in his mid seventies I tried to encourage him to continue teaching because young people definitely need someone to guide them in life more than what the present day curriculum prepares them for. The conversation shifted from there to the man telling me how he finds present day situation in the country disturbing and making him want to leave for a better place. 

He is not the only person I have met who feels that way. Indeed the times are dark. Darker than usual. More concerning than what many of our generation has experienced. I told him I had thought about it like him. But then arrived at the conclusion that it would be cowardice to leave under these circumstances. If we love the country we ought to do for it whatever best we can. In whatever capacity each can. Those of us that see the values that our young generations are lacking can try and bring those values into them, one kid at a time. He as a teacher is in a unique position of advantage to spend a few hours of his retirement life to teach and influence the students that he would meet through the work. 

In the course of our conversation I shared with him that I retired from my full time job earlier this year at age sixty. I still choose to use my skills in the profession 2 days a week so I meet people and help them in any way I can. I learn from them too. I have had to do a lot of work on myself until now and the work is not complete. There are so many more imperfections to work on. But that’s my goal. To keep working on myself and to keep working professionally till the end. Retirement for me is not synonymous with giving up working. 

At that point he opened up to me about his family life. He said he is aware of his own shortcomings. He has tried to work around them by creating a routine and bringing a structure to his day. He added that his wife is very picky. She finds faults with anything he does. He has a hard time making a conversation with her. If it could be of any use for him, I shared how we have figured out a way to connect in our home  now that it is just my octogenarian mom, my retired husband and me at home. I told him how we have started gathering after dinner to read from a spiritual book. It allows for each person to connect with some common topic where there is learning about personal improvement but coming from a neutral source instead of from each other. There is no finger pointing at each other’s faults. With me being a natural loner it becomes challenging for the other two at home to find common topics to discuss. It has brought us closer in ways that we had not figured out previously. 

He really liked the idea and expressed eagerness to try implementing it at home. Suddenly there was hope in his words, he expressed that he may be able to communicate with his wife afterall. 

We had talked to each other more as friends, as two human beings, rather than a doctor and a patient. It was much gratifying. And not one sided at all. I may never see him again. But I will always remember him.

These are the interactions that make it worth waking up early to get to the job. Even if just two days a week. How can I ever give it up ? 

Saree has been written about in earlier post. It is a favorite and that’s why tends to be worn frequently. A silk cotton Maheshwari color blocked in shade of grey and ikat in its narrow borders. My dear friend Meera Mehta designed it for the benefit of Rewa society. In general Maheshwari sarees are light, comfortable, low cost and convenient for daily use. And when they have the additional touch of elegance from a designer with a good eye, it is like a cherry on top of the cake. Not surprisingly I feel very happy to drape this one.