Making sense

 

Making Sense:

Our world is so complex and our way of looking at it is so diverse that getting universal agreement over worldly matters becomes challenging. Even more difficult to reconcile is the domain of the spirit. The subject matter of spirituality or spiritual liberation is so fluid and mystical that it often becomes difficult to converse. The ultimate reality, or Supreme Godhead or In Vedic terms, Brahman, is similarly difficult to describe or discuss and famously the Vedas declare it as neti neti, which means “ not this, not this”. 

In recent months when I entered into conversations with close family members and friends about religion and spirituality it became apparent how differently our brains are wired. Despite having been raised by the same set of parents, my two nieces differ in their beliefs about God and religion. One entirely rules out presence of God. The other is ambiguous about it. Then there is my cousin who believes in one supreme power but entirely dismisses any scripture. 

This made me reflect on the ramifications our beliefs and understanding of our existence has on the way we lead our lives and the way we will yield to the last breath. How has my pursuit of personal spiritual growth made a difference to my life? How would life be without this understanding?

There is a beautiful verse in the Bhagwad Gita ( chapter 7: verse 7)where Shri Krishna is telling Arjun that HE( Krishna) is like a thread that keeps all the beads together like a necklace. Beads are metaphorical representation of individual entities in creation.

मत्त: परतरं नान्यत्किञ्चिदस्ति धनञ्जय |
मयि सर्वमिदं प्रोतं सूत्रे मणिगणा इव || 7||

 If I have to cite a single change that occurred in me with my spiritual studies it is this that I began to feel a connection with everything around me. The inherently independent and indifferent me softened deep inside and gradually became capable to feel the internal milieu of fellow beings.I became increasingly aware of my own core while simultaneously witnessing more empathy for others. Even for those who I can’t see eye to eye. 

Over a period of time, the restlessness in the heart was subsiding; unexplained fears and feelings of impending doom were fading away. There was clearer recognition of self and non-self within the person of me. Old habits slowly became visible as external factors that could be consciously manipulated through a refined intelligence guided by a purer self. 

On one of the recent days I could envision the torrent of life( in Marathi we refer to it as काळाचा ओघ). I recognized where it was leading up to. That cliff from where the waters would suddenly plunge, where observers would view it as my death. I saw the physical body and the personalized thinking apparatus as weights attached to me. These were the things that would make me drown in the flow and throw me helplessly down the cliff. Instead if I untied myself from these weights and remained myself consciously, the tides of Time would only wash away these weighty things. I would go nowhere. I would remain safe, as and where I am. That was the liberation I had strived for. 

One would imagine I would be painfully lonely standing here. But that is far from the truth. On this platform my heart is filled with love for my God who also doubles up as my holy guide or Guru. There is no more distance from my true love, my God, here.

What makes me reach out to people around me to broach the topic of liberation? It is simple. What good you experience, you want others to experience as well. But every time I initiate a conversation I come across a barrier. They are not inclined to explore and I find myself not eloquent enough to express what I know and experience. It boils down to “ it is not yet time for them”. I resign to that conclusion and divert the conversation to things they are interested in. Worldly talk. That talk will entertain and tide over the present moment. But it can’t keep anyone afloat when the currents fall off the cliff. The tides will take them to a new life, a new place, a new community before they will disperse again. And again. And again. 

What is it that wires anyone inside to pay heed to the call of the spirit? I dont know the answer. But it is true that without the necessary wiring they can’t hear you, even if you shout. Even if they love you and trust you. What you say doesn’t make any sense to them. Our languages are different deep inside. Only our creator knows how to speak to us in our individual language. And unless we choose to speak to Him, there can’t be a conversation. A person like me learns to stay silent when words don’t make sense to the person you are talking to. 

Jise bhi dekhiye woh apne aap mein goom hain

Jubaan mili hain magar hum-jubaan nahi milta!

(Each one is lost in himself.

We have the faculty of speech but we can’t find one who speaks our language!)

Last week we were on the road returning to Pune from Goa. It was early in the morning as we were driving through the Amboli ghat. Rays of sunshine were seen fanning down on the road through the dense forest foliage as we traced the winding road. That scene is carved into my brain. It was a sacred sight to behold. Later as I was reflecting on the spiritual journey I drew a connection with these sun rays. Every ray was independent and though clustered with other rays they had nothing to do with each other. Each ray had to trace itself to its source: the sun. Each ray was here to do its own job, that is deliver the light from its source, independent of the other rays. Our lives are similar. Even if we are a married couple or the best of friends, our purpose in life cannot be each other. Each of us must trace our existence back to our source. Each must deliver what we were made to deliver. 

Vishwa swadharma soorye paho!

I have traced my source.

I can only wish that everyone can trace theirs. 

Photo of the sun rays filtering through the trees is by a classmate taken at a different location . I couldn’t take the photo when I was traveling. I saved the photo and sharing it in this space as it conveys the sight I have described in this post. 

Saree is a cotton Handloom from the Udupi cluster of weavers. The yarn has been colored with natural dyes. I matched it with a contrasting pastel colored striped blouse made out of handspun cotton. Wore this yesterday for a luncheon with family members in Pune.