Fajiti फजिती

 Fajiti:

Fajiti is a Marathi word that would translate in English as embarrassment, humiliation, disgrace. Suddenly finding oneself becoming a target of ridicule. A person who was otherwise looked upon with admiration, with one misstep finds himself at the receiving end of contempt or subject of controversy. 

I am reminded of the time in US history when the then President George W Bush appointed General Colin Powell as the Secretary of State in 2000. In 2001, the infamous 9/11 terrorist attack gripped the country. Powell faced the UN General Assembly and presented the case for invasion into Iraq based on intelligence reports that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. After the invasion was underway new reports emerged that disproved the previous claims. Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction afterall. The much revered, highly decorated military officer and first African American to serve as Secretary of State looked stupid in the eyes of not just his countrymen but the whole world. It wasn’t his fault. He was led to believe that the data on which he based his argument was credible. General Powell retired from service once President Bush was elected for a second term. His legacy was permanently blemished by that incident. 

This is an example of fajiti! Embarrassment. 

The more powerful or famous you are, the more severe is the sting of embarrassment. 

In one of her interviews, the late legendary singer, Bharat Ratna, Lata Mangeshkar was asked about her thoughts on rebirth. She laughed and said that it is best if there is no future rebirth, but if it must happen, I do not wish to be born as Lata Mangeshkar. What she was referring to was the high pedestal she was given in this life. The fame, the wealth and all the paraphernalia that came with it. The interviewer prodded her for the reason she didn’t want all this. She did not elaborate but said that only she knows what it is to be in her shoes. 

That candid assessment from a person who seemingly had everything most people dream about: a long life, a tight knit family, unparalleled success and recognition of her talent and work, global fame, elevation to the status of national treasure, adulation by her fraternity as well as millions of people in India and worldwide, no blemishes on character overall, a life of luxury in every aspect. This confession is something that should make us take a closer look at how life must be underneath the glory and comforts. The weight of responsibility to protect the good name. The pressure of being in the public eye constantly. The scrutiny of every single word that comes out of your mouth, every opinion you express, every move you make, every professional performance you give. Plus the loneliness of being the person at the top. When you are seen as a source of money or influence by anyone you meet or even if you don’t intend, they get intimidated by or jealous of you. They get offended by the slightest thing you say and hold the grudge permanently. When you no longer have the freedom to enjoy simple pleasures like take a stroll on the street or walk into a restaurant or shop like any other person. When nobody believes you can face pressure or loneliness or suffering nor can you voice it to anyone. When the price for the comforts you got in your life seems too much and you are willing to trade those comforts for simpler living and anonymity. It is indeed something another person should take a cue from. Lata Mangeshkar managed to get through her life without any major scandal or severe criticism. It was no ordinary feat. Higher you go, greater are the chances of fall and harder usually is the hit you take. 

In the past week, the internationally acclaimed music composer A R Rahman has been in news for comments he made during an interview on BBC. He made a personal statement regarding his experience with communal bias in the Indian music industry. Those comments have not sat well with the Indian audience who until now have elevated him to the position of a genius and national icon. His faith( he was born to a Hindu family and later he and his family had converted to Islam) had not come in the way of his success. He was seen and adored for his music. Hence that one stray comment about facing discrimination based on his religion faced immediate and intense backlash. Such severe was the pushback and criticism that Rahman himself had to make an apology and his daughters plead for understanding and plea for the public to disagree with his views but not disrespect or disgrace him. 

Today I came across a cryptic post, purportedly from AR Rahman himself that reads as follows 

Mawlana Shaykh Nazim once said:

“ We ask to be noone, and nothing. For as long as we are someone, we are not complete.”

The post continues:

This concept of “ being nothing “ or striving to “ be nothing “ or seeing oneself as “ nothing “ in one’s approach to Allah Almighty is one of the most fundamental pillars of spirituality.

Although the post speaks volumes by its own words, it is impossible to ascertain what must be going on in Rahman’s mind when he posted it.

Any ordinary citizen in India would have expressed his opinion about how he perceived communal life in the country and it would not make news in the neighborhood, let alone headlines in the newspapers or social media. But then this is no ordinary citizen. This is a global icon who Indians look up to with pride. Whose success has as much to do with his own talent as it has to do with the people who appreciated it. One reckless comment coming from him and the same crowd that put him on the pedestal had begun to tear him apart and thrash him ruthlessly. 

Like many of us, Rahman is known to be deeply spiritual. His spiritual leanings are reflected in several iconic songs he has created including O Palanhare and Khwaja mere khwaja and so many more. It has become public knowledge through his interviews and interviews of people who have worked with him. 

Yet, like any of us, he is also very human. When one ascends to success and renown, it is very difficult, if not impossible, to entirely prevent the ego from strengthening. You are no longer “ nothing”. The world does not let you believe that you are “nothing”. You have a hard time reversing your identity as “ someone” to “ nothing”. 

Perhaps the incident hit him so hard that he awakened to the fact that despite being spiritual, he came face to face with the boldened ego. The sudden change of fortunes from that misspoken word and accompanying hurt may have woken him up from slumber. Years of adulation are easy to take for granted. Overnight loss of it, isn’t that easy. If he values spirituality over worldly fortunes, he will see the incident and its harsh consequences as a blessing. And keep going on without deeper hurt nor grievance against the people attacking him. The only formidable enemy he really has at this point is not the critics. But the “someone” he has become. 

Rahman’s fajiti has occurred because of the mouth. His spiritual, wise self would have known better. The raw ego, The AR Rahman he has become, was the one who spoke and invited trouble. The public price is already paid.

Now it is time for the settlement inside the man. The two identities, the “nothing “ and the “someone“ must sort it out internally. What really went wrong? Who owns up to the slip up? 

My guess is that even now the “someone” is unable to shut his mouth. He is sharing the internal conflict on social media. That cryptic post quoting Mawlana Shaykh Nazim is really addressed to himself. Yet he couldn’t resist from sharing it on a platform where he knows over a million followers are going to read it. He thinks they will understand his conflict and human vulnerability. And then what ? 

Does he believe that they will forgive him and his glorious times will come back? His crown will be back on his head? 

And if that happens, who becomes the winner and who becomes the loser in the duel? The one who is “ nothing “ or the “someone “? 

Personally I dread this very phenomenon.

If you truly want to be “nothing“ then you ought to understand that the “nothing “ doesn’t need validation from anyone. The “nothing “ doesn’t fear missing out on praise or facing criticism. The “nothing” would remain silent in the face of both these visitors. If he had an upper hand he would come to the podium, apologize for the blunder of his twin, Mr “ Someone” and then go back behind the curtain where he is used to living peacefully. No drama, no publicity, no lingering on the subject, no other damage control machinery would be felt necessary. 

It would be an altogether different story if Mr “ Someone” was calling the shots. Because he has bigger stakes. Money, fame, work, social status, lifestyle, legacy. 

Lata Mangeshkar was wise. She clearly knew the high stakes for being “Lata Mangeshkar” and although she diligently protected herself from falling , she did not wish for that pedestal life after life. She preferred a life without those benefits in the future. They didn’t hold allure for her. Seems like the “nothing“ in her had the final say at every step. 

Studying these two highly talented individuals and the challenges in their lives, there is so much to learn. Firstly, pray that you don’t acquire fame. Anonymity is an enormous blessing for anyone who seeks spiritual fulfillment. Fame is a curse. And if you must live that cursed life, you will need to be extra careful to check the you who is “ nothing “ from becoming “ someone “ and hijacking your way right under your nose. 

This is a fact. 

Every single time I do a good deed or get a bright idea or inspiration to write something, I am fighting the “someone” inside me. I am counseling her to shut up. To stop claiming she did it. Thank goodness I don’t have a burden of being a public figure for then, Miss “Someone “ would be even more difficult to silence or rein in. 

I sympathize with Mr Rahman. May he succeed in surrendering to the “nothing” within him. It is not easy on him to fight himself. The first step to win this battle is know what not to share on social media. Obviously he is still struggling with that. 

Silence is worth a million dollars.

Wisdom understands the language of silence and also it’s worth. Hence exercises thrift with the currency of words.

The fool knows not how dangerous words can be when used without purpose or necessity. 

Mr Rahman’s debacle is a classic example of fajiti brought upon by the monkey within us who prances around pretending to be “someone” though in reality he is “ nothing”. He wouldn’t do that if he knew that “ nothing” is more powerful and invincible than the imposter named “someone “. 

If anything scares me in this world it is this monkey. It is not easy to put sense into him. Hopefully I will walk until the very end without incurring fajiti. Need strength and divine blessings for that. 

If anyone could say it aloud most eloquently that would be Muktabai. 

एकें उंचपण केले ।एक अभिमानें गेलें ॥

इतकें टाकुनी शांती धरा ।ताटी उघडा ज्ञानेश्वरा ॥

When one tries to act smart, the next moment he will find himself biting dust. 

Resist making this folly and be wise! 

You will not become a laughing stock.