TatparaayaN Aharnishi

 

A juncture to ponder upon:

Spiritual journey, like ordinary journey or life’s journey, has its share of ups and downs. You can gain pace and hit a plateau or even feel lost at times. You may arrive at a place where you are filled with awe and wonder or you confront despair and a rather harsh reality check. One day there is a feeling of certainty and another day that transforms into doubt. Yet you know that you have come so far that there is no turning back now. The only way is forward. Whether in that moment there is darkness or light, you don’t look back. Even if you look back, there is nothing there. 

An ever strengthening faith and relationship with the force that controls the universe has been the directive of my life for over four of last six decades on this planet. These years have taken me through all the phases I have described above. With each step, there has been a gradual cleansing of the mirror within. Minutest of thoughts, emotions, doubts, fears, hopes and desires, understanding and inferences, tendencies and inclinations, comforts and discomforts, become perceptible. They stand identified in consciousness. One would think I know the workings of my mind completely by now! And then the next moment that thought is proven wrong. Because you become aware of something anew. 

I have come to regard the words of Ranganath Maharaj Parbhanikar with high regard over the last few years. I first came across his commentary on chapters 9 and 12 of the Dnyaaneshwari and after reading just a few pages,the extraordinary depth of his understanding of the subject matter was evident. Since then I picked more published books of his teachings, including keertans and pravachans. In recent days I’ve been reading the pravachan series where he has elucidated chosen verses from mostly the Dnyaaneshwari, but occasionally Sant Tukaram’s abhangas. 

Last evening I was reading the chapter on one of such chosen verses. This was part of the commentary in Dnyaaneshwari on the 17th verse in the 5th chapter of the Bhagwad Gita. 

Buddhi nischaye atmadnyan 

Bramharoop bhaavi aapaNaa aapaN

Bramha nishTha raakhe poorNa 

TatparaayaN aharnishi!

बुद्धिनिश्चयें आत्मज्ञान । ब्रह्मरूप भावी आपणा आपण ।
ब्रह्मनिष्ठा राखे पूर्ण । तत्परायण अहर्निशीं ॥ ८७ ॥

What this translates into is:

A determined intellect grasps understanding( knowledge) of the self, and with that knowledge the individual begins to recognize himself in the form of Brahman( the ultimate reality). He merges his thoughts and consciousness completely into the divine identity and remains continually in that state of contemplation.

I must have read the original verse from the Bhagwad Gita a dozen times in all these years. Sant  Dnyaaneshwar elaborated upon the 29 verses of the 5th chapter with 180 verses! The word by word meaning of the original Gita verse was understood by the intellect, or so it believed. It took Parbhanikar Maharaj to make the intellect look at itself in the mirror! ( Deflecting a bit here from the topic in discussion, it occurred to me recently that what we have known as a mirror all our lives is a worthless object, best use of which is to serve as a metaphor for the actual mirror within ourselves. The mirror within is the only thing that is of true worth. In other words, the mirror made of matter doesn’t matter. The mirror not made of matter, is what truly matters!)

Atmadnyaan! Knowledge of the self! 

Have I tasted it? Yes, I can claim to have tasted it. 

Is that enough? No. 

Why not? 

Because it is not sustained!

Why is it not sustained?

Because the intellect lacks determination! 

Buddhinischay is missing!

Intermittent recognition that I am indeed Brahman is insufficient! Continuous recognition is what counts.

What are the reasons behind the intellect lacking firmness in determination of its eternal identity? 

The powerful forces of old conditioning! The reinforcement of that conditioning through company of people who subscribe to that kind of thinking. One powerful analogy Prabhanikar Maharaj has made is that of a single married woman sitting in a room of hundreds of widows. As long as she remains totally coherent of her reality and doesn’t associate herself with the reality of the people around her she can stay true to herself. 

Apply this analogy to yourself! You know you are not this physical body! You have long realized this. You have intermittently tasted your pure self, that is beyond your thoughts and emotions. You believe in the words of Krishna and the wise saints that you and Krishna are not two separate entities. Yet you can’t permanently accept Aham Bramhasmi ( I am That) as fact! You continue to revert back tying your identity with your thoughts. Why? Because that’s a habit that dates back to eons! Because everyone around you reinforces the idea that you are an individual defined by your appearance and thinking. 

Here the first of many conflicts is visible. You have tasted your pure self, but you can’t stay in that position for too long! A married woman knows she is married, her husband is alive, but moving around in a herd of women who have lost their husbands she momentarily starts believing she is one of them ! 

When I recognized this phenomenon I also recognized how our mind tends to associate with people around us. Last evening for instance, our son who recently started a three month rotation at Kaiser Permanente in Los Angeles was messaging us that the chief of ENT department there recalled Abhay(my husband) fondly from past interactions while he was an oncologist in Kaiser Bakersfield. She told our son that she thought highly of Abhay and other oncologists were not as good as him! She sent her greetings to Abhay! When I read this message, my mind was filled with pride and joy!! Why? Because it associated itself with Abhay! “My husband“ is recognized as better than his peers, by someone who is herself regarded as the best in her workplace! The pride stemmed from association! Just think of it, this is just one instance of association that was recognized internally. Each and every day we live in the web of multiple such associations! Our associations with family members, friends, colleagues, workplace workers, clients, fellow countrymen, teachers, authors, celebrities, strangers we read about on social media! Our mind absorbs millions of things that really have nothing to do with ourselves! Abhay being a really good oncologist, what does it have to do with me? Nothing at all! I didn’t train him. I didn’t do his work. I just happen to be married to him. Yet I am taking pride in the compliment he received! Deep inside we want our family and friends to feel proud of us for our achievements. Isn’t it funny? It is actually something that is calling for contemplation. 

We think we are independent thinkers. A closer look reveals otherwise. Our pride and embarrassment are dependent upon the actions and reactions of others. Their actions and reactions have the power to disturb our peace and composure. 

Parbhanikar Maharaj nails the root of the issue. You aim to attain God, or self realization. That’s your honest conscious will. Your mind is flooded with thoughts about what goes around you. And deep inside, your instincts are hoping for security in the world, in the form of wealth. None of us wants to be poor. We may not want to be rich, but we fear poverty. We can see now, there is another conflict here. We are not aligned within ourselves. The core of our being is not behaving in line with the goal of our life. The vectors of our mind are directed into the world outside while we seek to reach the source inside. With such irony how can we expect to reach our goal?

Parbhanikar Maharaj has made another analogy to teach us how to be in the world and pursue our spiritual goals. Again this analogy employs a married woman. He says such woman owes allegiance only to her husband, not to visitors coming to the home. She may attend to their needs when they visit, feed them and extend appropriate hospitality. But she shouldn’t go away with them! 

What does our so called spiritual mind and intellect do? It knows its allegiance is to God. But it remains forgetful of this obligation and goes out into the outside world every single day. It is constantly looking outside the doors and windows. The gaze is trained in that direction. May or may not be looking to acquire anything from there, but definitely curious about the outside world of objects. In the course of indulgence with the world we incur complexity in our lives. And it doesn’t even realize this folly! A small step to begin rectifying is to start simplifying our lives. Attend to bare minimum. Review essentials and delete the rest from what deserves our time.

How long should our intellect remain fixated on our pure self? 

Aharnishi! That’s the term used by Sant Dnyaaneshwar. 

Aharnishi means through day and night.

Perpetually!

It is obvious that to make this happen the mirror inside will need to be kept clean at all times. Determination sharpened daily. The pull of the outside world weakened with the strength of our understanding and will. And a vigilant eye on the direction of our inner gaze. Our gaze should be turned inward, not outward. Treat the outside as temporary visitors. Our home is to be identified inside us, not outside. Only then is there hope for any further progress in our path. 

Indeed it takes realized masters to bring us home !! 

Hari Om 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Saree is a simple handloom cotton weave from the state of Karnataka. It has used natural dyes derived from vegetables and other natural resources, not chemicals.