The Still Waters

 

I was driving this morning, taking mom to an appointment across town. There was Monday morning traffic on the road, with people cutting through the lines to enter into the exit lanes to take the freeway while a whole lot of cars remained waiting for their turn to cross the signals to get there. Once I made it past this jam onto the freeway, I had to watch the incoming traffic from ramps ahead. The skies were heavily overcast and not surprisingly a few miles into the drive the windshield began to see droplets progressively obscuring the view. Within moments I had to turn on the wipers.  

Once I took the exit from the freeway and continued on the surface streets suddenly I was aware that the MS Subbulakshmi Vishnu Sahasranaam stotram playing in the car was too loud for comfort. The reflex action was to find the button on the steering wheel and turn the volume down one level at a time till the stotram was audible but not any louder than essential. 

Immediately having done this, I realized how the body mechanism had sensed the outer stimulus from the audio and without fuss or thinking promptly taken the appropriate action to adjust the impact. If the brain can respond to this, why can’t it show similar intervention to stimuli that provoke emotional upheavals? There must be a control button within that can temper the reaction to unwanted outer triggers. 

The key, I realized sharply in that moment, was to recognize when anything starts to provoke just like the loudness of the audio was recognized. 

In case of the audio system, the loudness was coming from an inanimate device. There was no personal factor involved. When something people say or do becomes a stimulus, that carries an additional interpersonal dimension to watch for. Nevertheless, finding the controls for such situations is more than overdue for me. It is essential to maintain that internal poise which, when compromised, deflects from resting in the self awareness. 

Self awareness is the ultimate goal. That is the mode of devotion. That is the mode of service. That is the language of surrender. That is the newly understood language of love. That is the source of happiness. Whatever comes in the way of being there and staying there , calls for correction. 

I realize that whatever “ irritations” keep coming my way and will continue to challenge, are serving a purpose to set my internal controls in perfect order. I need to recognize them for the purpose they are here for. 

My goal to maintain the unperturbed screen needs to be reaffirmed constantly.

I am reminded of the last stanza of the Marathi song about the ugly duckling! It was looking down at the still waters and caught a glimpse of its reflection there. For the first time it saw something that it wasn’t aware of before. What it saw contradicted what it had believed or known earlier. And that changed the name of the game.

Eke dini parantu pillaas tya kalale
Bhay vade paar tyaache vaaryasavay palaale

Panyaat pahtaana...
Panyaat pahtaana choruniya kshanake
Tyaache tya kalle to rajhans ek
Eka, talyaat hoti badke pile surekh
Hote kurup wede pillu tayat ek

It is the still waters that are essential.  Every movement, every flapping of the wing or the feet, every little tremor in the body creates ripples in the water and you lose sight of the image of yourself in those waters. And as long as you don’t see your image, you float around with a concocted image of yourself.

Right now the ugly duckling is just fascinated by the new mirror it has discovered in the waters when they are still.

 It is good that this is making it practice stillness in a bid to see its reflection. 

The day this duckling shifts its gaze from the reflection instead to the still waters, it will know the real thing that matters.