Freedom comes in many versions

Sometimes one is taken by surprise by new understanding of old concepts. Today was one such moment. 

I was done making a green chutney that is a staple in the home to eat on toast or use in sandwiches. As I was scraping the last bits from the blender my mouth was watering with the thought of pulling out a slice of bread, toasting it and using whatever chutney was left adhering to the sides and bottom of the blender. Except there was one problem. I really wasn’t hungry. That bite was going to be pure gluttony. Indulgence arising from temptation. 

A part of the mind argued that it wasn’t a big thing. What’s wrong with indulging in such small things now and then? Another part of the mind looked at it as an opportunity to use mental energy to overcome desire rather than reinforce a pattern of giving in to desire. 

I scraped those last bits of the chutney into a small bowl and put it away. Then washed the blender jar and put it to drain and dry. I left the kitchen and went out into the living room to divert attention to some reading. I could leave the room and the chutney behind, but the desire had followed me into the other room! The “I” in me had become locked into the thought of eating the toasted bread with the chutney. It was prompting me to go back to the kitchen. Either I just go and eat it to get rid of the thought or it would remain submerged somewhere in the subconscious only to emerge at another conducive moment. 

This really caused concern for me. The desire for the toast was just a small, seemingly harmless, example. But the pattern was something that could potentially apply to any desire. Whenever the mind got locked in a desire, it would mean either fulfil it right then and there or store it in the subconscious only to be drawn to it some other time in an unguarded moment. This was dangerous. It was leaving the door open for a spiritual downfall. 

Those few moments really worried me. Wasn’t there any other way for the “I” to overcome the desire? This “I” that is taking refuge in the form of the physical and mental individual, is it going to be permanently locked with such unfulfilled desires in its psyche until the desires are fulfilled? That is basically going to be the seed for transmigration into a new body. That by definition is going to be the causal body for another birth and mortal life. 

I visualized the personal form in its subtle state as one entity and the object of desire( in this case the toast with chutney applied to it) as another entity and saw them entangled together. Almost like a fish swimming in a big ocean sniffing out and ready to bite on a bait. 

In that moment the option I was looking for flashed in the mind. The fish looked at the bait in the eye and confidently kept swimming past it. It had no intention to turn around to find it another time in the future. 

What had just happened?

The mind had found a way to break free from an object that was trying to glue itself to the mind. Consciously looking at it in full presence and willfully bypassing it was the only way to not incorporate it into the psyche. 

Until this point the mind had looked at the definition of freedom as the ability to think and act independent of another person. But in this moment of revelation it saw a new meaning to the concept of freedom. The ability to overcome the power of any external object that tends to compel you to act to own it or experience it was liberating. 

I am reminded of the day when I had ventured to skydive in the deserts of Moab in Utah in 2021. The thought of letting go the fear of losing the physical body when jumping off the airplane from a height of 13,000 feet above ground was a big moment. Once done with letting go the aircraft, I was floating in the air and experiencing what birds experience every day. That was a feeling etched on to the mind. Today the experience of the mind swimming in the ocean of consciousness free of desirable objects was another memorable experience. The bird like experience of skydiving cannot be repeated every day for practical reasons. But this mind swimming free in the ocean of consciousness is there to experience over and over again for as long as the mind remains. I have no words to describe the feeling of this freedom. 

Freedom from depending on or following orders from people. ✅

Freedom from dependence or entanglement with objects.✅

Perhaps next destination: Freedom from thoughts! Including the “I” thought!

Which is basically mind breaking free from itself. 

In whichever form one wishes to experience freedom, what would be required is to exercise the will. 

To make the will strong enough to surrender to the ocean of consciousness and not to the finite entities in it. 

That’s the bubble this mind lives in.

And there is someone looking at the mind and its bubble!